Tales of the City #5

The scene is Pollokshaws Road. (That’s the South Side). After midnight.

Me: Oh, please no. Please don’t throw that in there.

The refuse collector throws the clerical collar into the refuse truck and turns.

Refuse Collector #1: What pal?

Me: Oh, that’s mine, it dropped out of my pocket and you picked it up with the other rubbish and threw it in.

Refuse Collector #1: What is it, anyway?

Me: Oh, its a clerical collar. Er…I’m a priest.

I do a brief but elegent mime, the better to explain what a clerical collar is.

Refuse Collector #1: Oh, don’t worry, I’ll get it. I’ll have to climb into the truck though.

An attempt is made to climb into the truck.

Refuse Collector #2: What is it, what’s he lost?

The first refuse collector mumbles something and repeats the earlier mime.

Refuse Collector #1: Here, I’ll get it with the picker-up.

He produces a device, reaches into the refuse truck, retrieves the collar and hands it back.

Refuse Collector #1: Here it is pal. Oh…..well….you could wash it, I guess.


  1. Delighted to see the south side living up to expectations again 🙂

  2. fr dougal says

    There is BTW no “c” in Pollokshaws – you’re using the Edinburgh spelling!

    • Thank you Father, I’ve corrected it.

      Indeed, I had thought that I had corrected it just after writing it but that obviously didn’t take.

  3. agatha says

    There has to be a story as to why someone’s clerical collar would fall out of their pocket after midnight. Mind you I don’t know Glasgow very well.

  4. Rosemary Hannah says

    I think, Agatha, it must have something to do with fairy godmothers…

    • There’s a whole retelling of the Cinderella story to be had, isn’t there?

      Ah well. Some day my prince will come.

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