What is in Kelvin's Head?

Tales of the City – February 2020

20/02/2020

On the way home from the opera I step into a shop to get out of the rain, and buy something to eat against the cold – a late-night post-operatic chittery-bite.

In front of me are two young men dressed in much less than I am. They are the worse for wear and arguing.

Drunk Young Man #1: Well we’ll ask someone else then.

Drunk Young Man #2: Yes! Someone neutral.

They turn to me.

DYM#1: Here man. Settle an arugment for us will you. Is coronavirus real or is it propoganda

Self: I think it is real.

DYM#2: Aye man. Told you. It *is* real. He said so. Here, I bet you do a very responsible job

DYM#1: Aye very responsible. What are you man?

I hesitate a moment and consider how to answer.

DYM#2: I bet he’s a Supply Chain Manager. Are you a Supply Chain Manager, man?

I smile a smile that I hope will look like the smile of a cold wet Supply Chain Manager.

DYM#2: I knew it.

DYM#1: Hey, do you have a lighter?

I shake my head.

We are all forlorn that I do not have a lighter.

Tales of the City

11 responses to “Evensong (with Dragons)”

Cal

20/06/2011

I always remember being told that the final “smoke” in the Stainer is meant to be the loudest note in Anglican choral music. I have no idea how that can possibly be qualified, and of course there are so many variables, but I still like to believe it’s true.

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1. kelvin
  
  20/06/2011
  
  Thanks Duncan – http://www.kjv-only.com/unicorn.html has a list of them for those interested.
  
  Cal – was thinking about you just the other day. I bet you’d know how to do deploy glitter canons for Corpus Christi.
  
  Reply
duncan

20/06/2011

I love the fact that the unicorn appears in the KJV bible about ten times. Who said scripture doesn’t contain mythic elements!

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Cal

20/06/2011

Fluttter ‘fetti has long been overlooked in the liturgy, I feel. I suspect you’d have to bribe your servers to sweep it up though – least favourite job.

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Martin Ritchie

20/06/2011

The loudness of “smoke” probably depends on the choir singing it! I bet St Mary’s give it a good thump! 😉

On the subject of dragons…….we have some stylised ones hidden away in our Daniel Cottier stained glass at Pilrig St Paul’s in Edinburgh. I didn’t notice them for over three years despite having spent ages taking photographs of the windows. Cunningly hidden as I’m sure all dragons are!

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1. kelvin
  
  20/06/2011
  
  The smoke was certainly wonderfully loud last night.
  
  I see that Freda has new dragons, though they don’t seem particularly well hidden.
  
  Cal – I hope very much that the skills that you are currently building up are at some time and in some place offered unto the Lord in the facilitation of the most holy, most glorious and most magnificent liturgy.
  
  [Lesson learned from typing this comment – do not muddle up dragons and dragoons]
  
  Reply
Brother David

20/06/2011

[May] the Holy and Blessed Trinity to protect us from religion that is dull or humorless.

AMEN!

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Rosemary Hannah

20/06/2011

Now Kelvin, you must have read my story of St Michael, and you know, perfectly well, that actually the great archangel is dragon-formed. THe horrid prodder with the lance is actually Lucifer.

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ryan

20/06/2011

Sounds fabulous. Impressed that you weren’t tempted to rename it EvenDrag!

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Agatha

20/06/2011

What if your Dyson isn’t in D? Mine is probably more A below middle C.

I also like the idea of you all singing (a la The Clash) “I saw the Lord and the Lord won”.

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PamB

23/06/2011

@Cal – I heard that too, but got pooh-poohed when I remarked upon it. Glad to hear I’m not alone.
@Martin – St Mary’s choir do not thump. Lean upon, emphasise, give weight to, but never thump. Nor, for the psalmody aficionados out there, do they gabble.

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