What is in Kelvin's Head?

Predictions for 2014

01/01/2014
1. Remember those people who used to say, “But what is a blog…?” Well this year you are going to be hearing them say, “But what is a mooc…?”
2. Gay men are going to start shaving again. Now that so many straight men have bought into the idea that beards are hip, it is time to mess with their fashion sense again. Consider this the memo. (Next year, the end of tattoos!)
3. Church of Scotland General Assembly will be unable to affirm last year’s compromise on a local option for ministers who happen to be gay.
4. More revelations relating to Cardinal Keith Patrick O’Brien.
5. Number of active bloggers decreases. Influence of those still blogging increases.
6. The real purpose of the Pilling Report will be revealed with hindsight as evangelicals begin to argue about its contents. (May take a couple of years, but trust me on this one). Initially this will be in private – increasingly in public. Having been the great unifying factor for Evangelicals for the last 10 years, attitudes to gay people will become the source of greatest disunity amongst Evangelicals for the next decade. Unappealing and unsatisfying as it is, Pilling is a watershed – it was never designed to court liberal opinion so we might as well stop moaning about it. It was designed to divide evangelical opinion and is going to be jolly successful.
7. The Independence Referendum will be lost here in Scotland but alas, not by enough to shut everyone up.
8. Such terrible statistics in the Diocese of Glasgow and Galloway that we lose at least 4 seats on General Synod.
9. Lord Carey will say that Christians are being persecuted in the UK, that the church is dying out or that the sky is going to fall in, and will say it at the most unhelpful time possible – probably around one of the English General Synods or Easter.
10. We will hear about our first UK gay divorce.
Trends to watch
- Continued meltdown of the Church of Scotland. Ceasing to be a national church before our very eyes.
- Internet increasingly rewards those who know how to manipulate images.
- Economic polarization of the UK continues.
New Year Predictions

6 responses to “On the election tomorrow”

Tim

04/05/2011

Ooh, Compass looks fun.

For amusement, it says I’m: Green; LD; SNP; Labour; Tory.

It’s got one of those right but I’d probably rejig the others a bit 😉

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Neil Oliver

04/05/2011

I got a very similar result to Tim and to be honest it reflects my vote quite closely.

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Tim

04/05/2011

The Compass attributes equal weight to all its questions, hence getting completely the wrong answer for me.
There is precisely no chance I would ever vote Green while they persist in being in favour of “alternative medicine” and so unthinkingly anti-motorist with no positive transport suggestions to make.

The only one it got sorta right is to put Tory last – and even that’s neglecting the fact that, if I were the penultimate humanoid on the planet and blue the only box to mark, I’d rather spoil the paper than vote for them. 😉

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chris

05/05/2011

Thanks for link – got me just about right, which is good as I voted a fortnight ago!

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ryan

05/05/2011

Lib Dems have an Orange Book?! That might of interest to stereotypical fans of the Glorious Glasgow Rangers who can’t support the SNP (non Unionist), Labour (obvious reasons), Tories (too posh) and find themselves unsure of who to vote for with only hours left to decide 😉

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Gianmaria Framarin

03/07/2011

Please, lad, quit this continuous and totally wrong identification of Rangers fans as being anti-Labour or even right-winged… you’re talking about that hell of a minority we have at Ibrox who still go on chanting stupid stuff…
Ibrox is FULL of leftists, Labour Party voters, even SNP, which seems to be the common trend. I hardly ever spoken to a Tory Rangers fan…
Glasgow’s a red city, always has been for decades, Rangers are a majority in the city, how come they all be “stereotypical tories”???

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