• The Comites Christi – Gay Icons

    The days after Christmas often seem strange to people. Boxing day is St Stephen’s Day, 27th December is dedicated to St John and then on 28th you get the Holy Innocents. Collectively these three days are known as the Comites Christ or Companions of Christ.

    Lots of people and lots of churches have run out of energy for keeping these feasts by the time they get through Christmas but we keep them at St Mary’s and a dedicated band of folk will turn out for them. I rather like keeping simple Eucharists after the wonders of Christmas are done. There’s something in the simplicity of keeping these feasts whilst the glories of the great feast we’ve just kept in such magnificent style linger in the memory like smoke from a well tended thurible.

    I’m sure that there’s much to discover in the spirituality of these days for everyone but I’m particularly struck by the way that they speak to an LGBT sensibility.

    It is important when reading the bible that we read it, at least sometimes, through the lens of our own experience rather than simple accepting what we have been told. The bible speaks most directly when we put away our assumptions and discover the web of connectedness between the biblical experience and our own lives.

    Very often gay and lesbian people have become excited at discovering the story of David and Jonathan or the story of Naomi and Ruth and seen there prototype gay couples. There’s problems with that though that are not difficult to see. David and Jonathan were both married to women – so should the excitement of their experience with one another give bisexual folk today more cheer than anyone else? And Ruth and Naomi are mother-in-law, daughter-in-law couple and that’s a fairly strange place to begin building an apologetic for gay lives today.

    To a certain extent, I think that regarding these couples as speaking of an experience that can inspire LGBT people today can also fall into the category of things that we’ve been told to to accept that might not, in all circumstances, be helpful.

    We should not look at the bible and expect it to provide neat gay characters that suddenly emerge to justify our modern lives. If we start doing that, we risk justifying modern straight people suddenly taking a liking to killing their enemies with the jawbones of asses.

    Instead of asking whether a given character in the bible “is gay” those of us who read from that perspective would be better to ask of all the characters – what are you saying to our lives? In what way does your experience and my own relate. What do I have to learn from you and in what way does my perception of what I read about you need to be informed by elements from my own life as well as the scholarship of others?

    Take Stephen, for example.

    St-Stephen-Martyr

    Now, Stephen is probably not top of the list of “gay” characters in the bible, but I remember doing a most fascinating bible study with a group of lesbian and gay people in which we looked at Stephen and found all kinds of things in his story that we recognised. We were fascinated by the story of an apparently gentle soul who wanted to live out his witness to Christ by offering loving-kindness to widows and orphans and who ended up losing his life. We all had stories to tell of people being threatened for holding to their own experience of Christ – after all, gay Christians sometimes get oppressed by the gays and by the Christians.

    We read the story of him being stoned with Saul/Paul standing by and we recognised that we knew very well the Sauls – the religious leaders who stand by and do nothing whilst gay lives are sacrified. We felt we recognised the experience of Stephen when “all who sat in the council looked intently at him, and they saw that his face was like the face of an angel”. We could imagine other young men who’ve looked like angels who have been beaten up because their beauty antagonised those who had grudges against them. We read the story  of his stoning and quite naturally for us started to talk about gay-bashing incidents that we had known. And every one of us knew the experience of being frightened to be ourselves around people. Especially religious people. Stephen, first martyr to Christ spoke to us through the pages of scripture because his experience was interwoven with our own when we started to talk about him.

    It is the same with John the Evangelist who gets celebrated next.

    Johannesminne_BNM

    Now, suppose you were overhearing an LGBT group talking about John the Evangelist. What might you hear?

    Well, you would surely hear someone begin by talking about the beloved disciple, presumed to be John snuggling up next to Jesus at  the last supper, his head upon Jesus’s breast. That intimacy might well prompt a conversation about whether people are looking more for sex or for intimacy. Then someone might chime in with a story about going to Patmos on a holiday to the Dodecanese and reflecting on the proximity of biblical culture with a Greek culture which always seemed to be much more at ease with same-sex affections. Then someone might tell a story about going to Ephesus and going to the House of Mary there and reflecting on the story of Jesus committing his mother to John’s care. That’s a cue for gay men in particular to talk about their mothers and their substitute mothers and their relationships with both. And where mothers are being talked about, coming out stories are being talked about. It is inevitable – it goes with the territory.

    And then maybe a conversation about beauty – for the basilica of St John in Selçuk near Ephesus has an extraordinary beauty and to visit a place associated strongly with John is to understand anew his fascination with the Light. That might lead to a discussion of whether gay people are particularly good at curating beauty or whether that is just a stereotype. The discussion might end with a chance to talk about whether gay people are so strongly represented in the creative arts because they have been forced there by a heteronormative society or whether in fact they are particularly and peculiarly good at such things. (You might not hear any conclusion to this argument). But John will himself be referred to in the conversation as someone reminds us that John is almost always depicted as a rather beautiful, rather soft young man. This leads to another conversation about stereotypes and whether the use of the word soft is an example of latent inner homophobia or whether the world is in fact incomplete until men can be soft when they need to be.

    And the Holy Innocents.

    holy-innocents-rachel-weeping

    Well, you don’t need to work too hard to make the connections between a group of human beings threatened by a tyrant simply for being born and the experience of gay men and women do you?

    Whilst you are thinking about the holy innocents being wiped out, you might ask yourself what the consequences of all the research that is done on The-Genetic-Causes-Of-Homosexuality might be. If they came up with a pill that mothers could take to ensure that their child were less likely to be gay, should it be marketed? Should it be taken? What are the ultimate consequences of gay people themselves wanting to prove that they were born like that?

    The holy innocents might remind us also of those who were killed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Might remind us of Pride parades being attacked by the authorities in Russia and in parts of Africa. Might remind us of the silent tyranny of poorer heath-care for gay and lesbian people. Might remind us of teenage suicides. As we reflect on a voice being heard in Ramah –  great mourning and  weeping, as Rachel weeps for her children we might think of the tears of so many mothers.

    The comites christi, the feast days following the birth in Bethlehem are ways of thinking about those whom Christ keeps company with. In keeping their feast days and thinking about their stories we may find ways to experience the bibilical experience for ourselves.

    And remember, straight people may be able to do this too. (But only once they’ve come out to themselves as straight – not when they’ve just assumed that they are normal).

    Comments welcome.

     

19 responses to “Preferring me dead”

  1. chris Avatar

    Well said, Rosemary. As for this business of everyone’s having to remain quiet and reasonable while unspeakable things are spoken … I’m sorry. I have this whined at me more times than I can count, so that my own calm goes out the window and I want to rage, rage, and the advocates of calm sit in their dispassionate heaven and think all will be well if people just shut up for another generation. It’s an affront to any society that this discrimination is still allowed to be seen as anything other than monstrous, and we need to raise a storm of protest that will make this obvious to even the most chilly political mind.

  2. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    For the comfort of Kelvin, however, let me add this. The people who promote discrimination against queer folk very frequently neither want them dead not yet unborn. What they actually (though mistakenly) believe, is that gay people would be just the same if they were straight. That the person would be just the same, because who you desire is some kind of bolt-on accessory which you can pick from the shelf and have or not have, like adding an MP3 player to your car, or just having a tape deck. Now I know that is a terrible misunderstanding, but it is not actually quite as terrible as wishing that the essence of people was somehow different.

    FWIW I do remember teaching a session on this to students, having asked them to imagine what people 100 years from now would think of our attitudes, and having one student tell me that in 50 years all gay people would be ‘cured’, and my suppressing my fury then and trying to explain why I did not want my friends and relatives ‘cured’ – and all the emotion catching up with me in my room at midnight, resulting in tears and all-but lying on the floor banging my heels and screaming. I suppose it was less actionable than banging a student’s head off the wall…..

  3. […] debates at the recent meeting of the Church of England’s General Synod under the stark title, Preferring me dead. More jauntily, the damsel of the dancing scones writes about blogging’s transformative […]

  4. Elizabeth Avatar
    Elizabeth

    I wanted to post on this when I first read it (via Google Reader) but for some reason the internets wouldn’t let me on the site.

    It’s hard to read this difficult words, but I think it’s very important that they’re said. I have only the smallest glimmerings of imagining how difficult it must be to be be a gay or lesbian priest now and fear that all too often I am prone to ignore the wider actions of the Anglican Communion because I’ve found it too painful and aggravating. But ignoring it is my privilege and no good in the long run.
    And on this issue, as on others, I find it unhelpful to advocate a quite and slow approach. Movement is not always uni-directional and I agree with Kelvin that we seem to be moving backwards, at least, as far as the SEC College of Bishops and the Anglican Communion leadership is concerned. The softly, softly approach is not justice and is not by any stretch of the imagination the only means by which justice is reached. On this issue, as on others, the question is, if not now, when?

    And I really, really dislike gay and lesbian Anglicans being sacrificed on the altar of loyalty to the ++Rowan. This is what happened in The Episcopal Church across the pond in 2006 and thank God General Convention saw fit to reverse the decision in 2009. Loyalty tests of such kind are horrendous!

  5. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    And bluntly the only loyalty worth giving is loyalty to Truth and God.

  6. Revd Ross Kennedy Avatar
    Revd Ross Kennedy

    I didn’t listen or read about anything voted on at the recent C of E Synod so can’t comment.

    But frrankly I’m bored with all the obsession with sexuality – I just wish we could obey our Lord’s command to love one another.
    But let me say this to lFr Kelvin, I for one certainly don’t want you dead. Life would be so dull without you – I would miss your blog and your excellent sermons ( which I must confess I sometimes plagiarise – bless me Father for I have sinned….) Don’t agree with much of what you say on sexual ethics but accept without question your devotion to our Lord and your ministry at St Mary’s.

    Prejudice and intolerance certainly smother any real opportunity for real debate. However, I have experienced this as much from those on the theological left (including correspondents to this site) as well as those on the theological right.

    The fact is that we are just as likely to find prejudice among liberals as well as conservatives in the church. I remember Bishop Richard Holloway discussing the ordination of women on the Television in the 1990s and making the insulting claim that most of the men opposed were probably homosexuals.

    I’ve also heard many liberals express a definite wish for all those who dare to oppose the consecration of women to the Episcopacy to get out of the Church… or maybe even to drop dead.

    The fact is that lots of people experience prejudice for a variety of reasons – a friend of mine who trained as a male nurse in the 1960s experienced a great deal of prejudice from his female superiors and as a result an absolute block to any promotion.

    Others are discriminated against because they are too short or too tall or too fat , or not intelligent enough or didn’t attend the right university and even for daring to choose to be a ‘closet gay’!

    There is a whole suffering world out there to which we are called upon to bring hope and help in the name of Jesus. So let’s stop focusing on our own personal problems and obsessions and get on with preaching the Good News.

  7. ryan Avatar
    ryan

    >>>The fact is that we are just as likely to find prejudice among liberals as well as conservatives in the church. I remember Bishop Richard Holloway discussing the ordination of women on the Television in the 1990s and making the insulting claim that most of the men opposed were probably homosexuals.

    If +Richard was talking about Forward in Lace types then he might have had a point ;-).

    More seriously: can you cite any ‘liberal’ church that is suggesting denying the sacraments to conservatives? Or pining for an age when violence and discrimination against evangelicals was accepted as a good? These days, people have less tolerance for ‘I’m not racist,but…’ or ‘I don’t *hate* Jews, but….” or “the sexes are equal, but” rhetoric but anti-gay discrimination on religious grounds often goes unchallenged. So while it is of course important to challenge all forms of prejudice, there are no major ‘Christian’ Institute type lobbies endeavouring to defend and legitimise persecution of the fat, tall,or short.

  8. David McCarthy Avatar
    David McCarthy

    Oh, I know that in the secret halls of the likes of Facebook, there are many who feel free to exhibit prejudice against churches and individuals who don’t fit the bill. That reveals what is truly in the hearts of people. I’d hope that no-one would permit such diatribe and speak out against it, just as I have done to those on ‘the right’ who speak and behave badly.

    As for you, dear Kelvin, there are many who disagree with you, but in our wee bit of the Church, I seriously doubt if there is anyone who would “prefer you dead”. You are a gifted minister – we’d miss you!

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