What is in Kelvin's Head?

Predictions for 2014

01/01/2014
1. Remember those people who used to say, “But what is a blog…?” Well this year you are going to be hearing them say, “But what is a mooc…?”
2. Gay men are going to start shaving again. Now that so many straight men have bought into the idea that beards are hip, it is time to mess with their fashion sense again. Consider this the memo. (Next year, the end of tattoos!)
3. Church of Scotland General Assembly will be unable to affirm last year’s compromise on a local option for ministers who happen to be gay.
4. More revelations relating to Cardinal Keith Patrick O’Brien.
5. Number of active bloggers decreases. Influence of those still blogging increases.
6. The real purpose of the Pilling Report will be revealed with hindsight as evangelicals begin to argue about its contents. (May take a couple of years, but trust me on this one). Initially this will be in private – increasingly in public. Having been the great unifying factor for Evangelicals for the last 10 years, attitudes to gay people will become the source of greatest disunity amongst Evangelicals for the next decade. Unappealing and unsatisfying as it is, Pilling is a watershed – it was never designed to court liberal opinion so we might as well stop moaning about it. It was designed to divide evangelical opinion and is going to be jolly successful.
7. The Independence Referendum will be lost here in Scotland but alas, not by enough to shut everyone up.
8. Such terrible statistics in the Diocese of Glasgow and Galloway that we lose at least 4 seats on General Synod.
9. Lord Carey will say that Christians are being persecuted in the UK, that the church is dying out or that the sky is going to fall in, and will say it at the most unhelpful time possible – probably around one of the English General Synods or Easter.
10. We will hear about our first UK gay divorce.
Trends to watch
- Continued meltdown of the Church of Scotland. Ceasing to be a national church before our very eyes.
- Internet increasingly rewards those who know how to manipulate images.
- Economic polarization of the UK continues.
New Year Predictions

8 responses to “Lightbox time”

Kimberly

15/10/2010

you forgot to mention that light boxes work much better in proper offices, rather than those shared with cats.

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Kelvin

15/10/2010

Oh, that’s one of those PhD theses never yet completed: Symbiosis and Stasis – the effect of cats on lightboxes, the effect of lightboxes on cats and the effects of each on those living with Seasonally Affective Disorder.

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ryan

15/10/2010

According to those posters on the underground, catowners are apparently more stress-free and content and the norm so, surely, a cat AND light box owner ought to be chirpy as Santa Clause!

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Coxy

15/10/2010

We have one. Not out yet but it might have been had it not been for a few days earlier this week in Belfast while NI pretended to be Spain in summer!

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kelvin

15/10/2010

Thanks Coxy. Can I also saw how much I am in awe of your Church Times Page 3 Stunner success this week.

A media triumph.

Now, if I dressed up in pink and had my photo taken running about in shorts, I wonder if the Church Times….

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ryan

15/10/2010

Not a CT subscriber, so : Link?!! Hope it was the neon number 😉

Although surely, given the choice, Italian Vanity Fair makes for the more impressive C.V. entry 😉

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Stewart

15/10/2010

….with and without the Cope of Glory, Kelvin??

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Kimberly

15/10/2010

Kelvin, no.

But let us just enjoy that for once Nick looks better in pink.

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