What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Baptising

    There are few more joyful things to do in this world than a baptism service. Yesterday I got to baptise someone called Theodore, which of course means Gift of God. He rather enjoyed proceedings and I’ve seldom held a child more keen to jump right into the font.

    People sometimes comment on how much babies seem to enjoy being baptised at St Mary’s. Some older folk sometimes say, “I thought they were supposed to cry….” to which I reply, “…and I think it is nicer if they don’t”.

    Sometimes people even come out with that old medieval nonsense that the cry of a baby at a baptism is the devil coming out. Here’s your theology starter for 10: the devil ain’t in there in the first place.

    If you want to make a baby cry at a baptism, here are the instructions:

    • hold them upside down
    • hold them so they can’t see anyone they know
    • use cold water
    • flick the water in their face with a large, hard shell
    • hold them as though you are frightened you are going to drop them.

    Otherwise,

    • hold them so they can see what’s going on – sitting on the side of the font is a good start
    • surround them with a sea of happy smiling faces
    • warm up the water
    • talk to them and mean what you say
    • keep parents in sight and free from anxiety themselves
    • lots of splashes
    ,

6 responses to “Hung!”

  1. Tim Avatar
    Tim

    All very well saying Labour have “lost their mandate to govern” when he’s not actually gained one either…

    I guess a hung parliament has been most likely for the past few weeks, much as one might wish for a happier colour. I’ll bear the rest of your predictions in mind for later though 🙂

    Reply
  2. Aaron Avatar
    Aaron

    Here in Canada we’ve had a minority government for five years now, with little sign of it falling. The Conservative PM is pretty bland, but the Liberals have the least inspiring leader you could imagine and the NDP are lead by a nutter. (And the Bloc isn’t national.) The opposition parties don’t want to trigger an election, because they fear that the voters would blame them for having to trudge to the polls. That and they’re even less popular than our lackluster PM.

    I think a minority government works, actually, simply because the governing party has to seek consensus. (And, in our case, the opposition parties have to as well.) Then again, I’m from the States where the President needs Congress and the voters often elect them from opposite parties.

    Reply
  3. David | Dah•veed Avatar
    David | Dah•veed

    Off Topic –

    I am surprised that you have not said anything at MadPriest’s post about you. Especially since it has such a large photo.

    Reply
  4. ryan Avatar
    ryan

    I saw that photo too! Kelvin does look a bit camp in it.

    Reply
    1. kelvin Avatar
      kelvin

      Camp?

      Moi?

      Reply
  5. ryan Avatar
    ryan

    Well, it’s not as butch as the Italian Vanity Fair photos 😉

    Reply

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