What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Dear Tom

    Dear Tom

    Like so many people I saw your video yesterday. Within minutes of you posting it, it was appearing in my twitter stream along with loads of messages supporting you. Then you started to appear on the news and the radio and no doubt your picture will be in the press this morning on many a front page.

    And all because you said you are in a relationship and had found happiness with another man.

    My first response was to hope that you can carve out a bit of privacy to enjoy being with someone who makes you happy.

    My second response was to think how lucky other young people are that people like you are around these days. I remember a time when no-one talked about these things at all. Even though sometimes it seems a bit over the top these days, and I bet you wish everyone would leave you alone to mind your own business at the moment, trust me, these are better times than when I was young. In those days no-one talked about these things in public. Or at least if they did say anything they didn’t say anthing terribly helpful or kind. To see so many lovely messages sent to you in the last day warms my heart no end and makes me realise that we’ve managed to build a better world. I know it must be intrustive – forgive me though whilst I appreciate this moment when a happy-looking young man’s relationship with another man is headline news for all the right reasons and not a bunch of nasty reasons. I never thought I would see such a day.

    When I was your age there was something new to think about too – AIDS was hitting the public consciousness in a very new and very scary way when I was 19. I was just at college and hearing a pretty stark and shocking message – that loving someone might kill me. It was not a great time to be learning about life.

    Sadly, it is the case that HIV is rising again amongst people of your age and the health campaigns are not terribly focused now.

    What you’ve done in coming out about your relationship will be hugely significant for lots of people. Hopefully in being honest about who you are you will inspire others to do the same. Honesty is one of the keys to making the world a safer place.

    There’s a load of nonsense being talked about labels today – people are saying you are gay because of your statement and others are arguing that you are bisexual and then bickering amongst themselves about what that means. Take no notice of any of it but take some time to work out what it means for you to be whole.

    There are so few people in same-sex relationships in the sports world who find themselves able to be honest and that’s what makes your video so significant. It will inspire people. It will also sadly enrage a few people but thankfully far fewer than ever there were before. Any prejudice against you will be exposed for what it is and be widely condemned. You are helping to build a world where such actions become ever less acceptable – and thank you for joining in that struggle.

    Even though you probably think that there’s no-one left in the world now who doesn’t know about what you’ve said, you’ll probably find that you end up remembering this moment throughout your life as it is repeated in smaller and less public ways. I came out very publicly (in the pulpit rather than on youtube!) and I know how often I still find myself coming out all over again, even to people who “know”. In some ways, it lasts a lifetime and I never understood that when I was first starting to talk about my own sexuality in public. Be strong and take each day as it comes. People are excited for you because they can see so many wonderful opportunities that could lie ahead for you and we’ve not had that many role models like you. But don’t get hung up on being a role model – just enjoy life, live well and work hard at your sport.

    Stay safe and encourage others to be. Stay grounded too and find your own place in the world to stand. And enjoy this time. Enjoy being with someone who makes you happy. Heaven knows, you need someone who can support you in amongst all this hullabaloo.

    You are loved by thousands. And you are also loved by one particular someone.

    Good wishes to both of you amidst all the media circus.
    KELVIN

    ,

5 responses to “Sermon preached on 14 March 2010”

  1. David | Dah•veed Avatar
    David | Dah•veed

    It is always interesting to me to travel the world from the comfort of my home on Sundays and get a feel for how different of our honored clergy approach a shared topic as we have the same readings in our Anglican worship. (Not forgetting that other flavors of Christians are also using those same readings as well.)

    Father Tobias Haller has a much different angle to this story in the form of poetry on his blog; The Elder Son and the Father’s Repentance

    Regarding Bishop David as you current ordinary, is that a canonical device of SEC, it seems different from how it is handled in TEC and so here in Mexico. When there is no diocesan bishop the Diocesan Standing Committee is then the ecclesiastical authority in a diocese and they can choose to “hire” a bishop for episcopal functions in the interim period until a new diocesan is elected and enthroned. The hired gun is often a neighboring diocesan, a resident or neighboring suffragan or assistant or they may even pull someone from retirement for a short period.

    I was happy, that as with you Father Kelvin, I had no trouble at all understanding +David’s accent! I see also that you have managed to repair that lean to your pulpit.

    When +David defined prodigal as extravagant waste I was immediately reminded of the writings of one of my favorite bishops, the blessed +John Shelby Spong at whose feet I studies one summer at Vancouver School of Theology. He often states, “God, who is the Source of Love, calls us to love wastefully.” God’s love for us is in the measure of extravagant waste and God calls us to love one another just as wastefully. As did the father in the parable.

    I cannot recall who of the Master Painters, but I know of a painting of the return of this Prodigal Son where the haste with which the father rushed to greet his son is represented in the fact that he is out in the road hugging his son in his fine clothes, but he is wearing mismatched shoes. I have experienced just such love and concern from my own Papá as I have seen him responding to emergencies in the middle of the night in our wee village and glancing down to see that he is wearing one shoe and a bedroom slipper!

    Pardon my rambles today, this simple sermon sparked many thoughts.

    Reply
    1. kelvin Avatar
      kelvin

      During an Episcopal Vacancy, it seems to be becoming common for someone to be appointed to be Bishops’ Commissary for the vacancy. This gives them delegated authority for administrative functions. The Ordinary, in such circumstances is usually the Primus though I think that the Priumus (or perhaps the Episcopal Synod) can nominate someone else to look after an Episcopal Vacancy.

      Reply
  2. ryan Avatar
    ryan

    Ooh, what’s a Priumus? (and yes, I googled – unsuccessfully – before asking!)

    Reply
  3. David | Dah•veed Avatar
    David | Dah•veed

    A Priumus is a typo. Nothing more.

    Reply
  4. ryan Avatar
    ryan

    Thanks! I did (genuinely) wonder if it was something different (like a collegiate group who make primus-like decisions in an empty see?) because of the “Primus though I think that the primus” (as opposed to Primus/s/he phrasing). Feel a bit D’Oh now.

    Reply

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