What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Baptising

    There are few more joyful things to do in this world than a baptism service. Yesterday I got to baptise someone called Theodore, which of course means Gift of God. He rather enjoyed proceedings and I’ve seldom held a child more keen to jump right into the font.

    People sometimes comment on how much babies seem to enjoy being baptised at St Mary’s. Some older folk sometimes say, “I thought they were supposed to cry….” to which I reply, “…and I think it is nicer if they don’t”.

    Sometimes people even come out with that old medieval nonsense that the cry of a baby at a baptism is the devil coming out. Here’s your theology starter for 10: the devil ain’t in there in the first place.

    If you want to make a baby cry at a baptism, here are the instructions:

    • hold them upside down
    • hold them so they can’t see anyone they know
    • use cold water
    • flick the water in their face with a large, hard shell
    • hold them as though you are frightened you are going to drop them.

    Otherwise,

    • hold them so they can see what’s going on – sitting on the side of the font is a good start
    • surround them with a sea of happy smiling faces
    • warm up the water
    • talk to them and mean what you say
    • keep parents in sight and free from anxiety themselves
    • lots of splashes
    ,

5 responses to “Silly headline”

  1. Zebadee Avatar
    Zebadee

    The BBC and certain ‘academics’ are only about three hundred years behind the times. Of course the tune IS still being used today to sing this wonderful carol. We only wish that we could be in St Marys on Christmas Day to sing it with you.

    Reply
  2. Elizabeth Avatar
    Elizabeth

    I remember being very confused the first time I heard the carol sung to a tune that wasn’t On Ilkla’ Moor, and thinking that they did things rather oddly on this charming island.

    Reply
  3. Tim Avatar
    Tim

    Well, congratulations to them for actually having had the balls to talk to an academic, if not the brains to make much of the story. That’s half a step up from the bulk of modern journalism.

    Form the article: He said carols – many of which have folk roots –

    Actually, *all* carols have to be a mediaeval (round) dance tune, otherwise they’re merely Christmas hymns (cf Away in a Manger only dating from around 1885). Natch.

    Reply
  4. chris Avatar
    chris

    The Ilkla’ Moor tune has also been sung in the Cathedral of The Isles, in recent years.

    Reply
  5. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    of course it has – and in many a place of good taste.

    Reply

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