• David’s Lamentation – a sermon preached on 12 August 2024

    David the King, was grieved and moved
    He went to his chamber,
    his chamber and wept
    And as he wept, he wept and said…

    Oh, my son, oh, my son
    Would to God I had died
    Would to God I had died
    Would to God I had died
    For thee, oh Absalom, my son, my son

    Victory that day was turned into mourning
    When the people did see
    how the king grieved for his son
    He covered his face and in a loud voice cried…

    Did you ever meet someone who was better at something that you are and admire them just for that?

    Meet David King of Israel who is better at doing something than I am and I love him for it.

    We’ve been reading stories of David for the last couple of weeks and seen much that is unlovable. Much that we would turn our eyes from.

    Two weeks ago, we heard of him sending a man to certain death in battle so that he could make off with his wife.

    David’s behaviour in that reading is so outrageous that I had complaints from members of this congregation for allowing it to be read.

    I tend not to believe in providence but I do believe in comeuppance and last week we saw David being confronted with righteous anger by Nathan the Prophet pointing the finger at David for his wicked behaviour. And turning David into a snivelling wreck.

    David often isn’t a terribly attractive figure.

    And yet he can do something that makes me admire him 3000 years since he last drew breath.

    David could lament like no-one else. His cries of lament over Saul his mentor and David is lover and Absolom his son move me. Move me very deeply and make me love him despite all else we know of him.

    The version of David’s Lamentation that I just sang is just one of many settings of his words thoughout the ages. His sorrow is written in the history books of the scriptures and recorded in the Book of Psalms, the hymn book that Jesus sang from.

    And lament is important.

    It is sometimes said that we have forgotten how to lament. Maybe we have forgotten how to lament in public, but I know that this congregation is one where lament is seldom absent in private.

    Lament for the horror of wee girls killed at a dance class.

    Lament for the horror of fascists turning that into something to attack those who have come to this country seeing refuge and safety.

    Lament for those the stirring up of race riots online.

    And Lament for schools hit by missiles in Gaza.

    And people who are members of this country express lamentation for events that go back months and years as well as weeks.

    Lamenting over the Russian invasion of Ukraine.

    Lamenting for the national boundaries that Britain left behind in Africa.

    Lamenting for a world being roasted by the sins of climate change denial and ignorance.

    And lament for ourselves and our own sins.

    For we like David have done things which we ought not to have done and no done things that we ought. And there is no help in us.

    And lament for our griefs for all of us bear them.

    David puts into verse his grief, He lets his troubled soul sing.

    And it makes me love him.

    It makes me love him because lamentation is the expression of the depth of our capacity to love. For grief is the name for love that is stronger than death.

    Lament is the song of the hopeless and the despairing. But it is an urge to give voice to the deep, deep knowledge that things should not be this way. Paradoxically it contains within it hope. Hope that it will not always feel like this.

    Deep in the pit, lament shines a little light on sadness and from that light, please God may seeds of hope be nourished. That knowledge that things should not be this way is the beginning, the fragile and tender beginning of doing something with the recognition that not only will all things pass but that all this could be different, better.

    The hope that justice may be known.

    The hope that righteousness may flourish.

    The hope that peace will prevail.

    The hope that the rawness of grief might change.

    These are the seeds nourished by lamentation.

    Christianity never denies death or grief or tragedy. Indeed, it says that all of these are all too real.

    However, it says that they will not win in the end. It says that resurrection isn’t just possible but inevitable. And it says that a world put right is not just something we are called to make real but that we are called to enjoy and delight in it forever.

    “Love wins” isn’t just a slogan that some of us carry about in rainbow colours at Pride. It is also the truth that those of us who bear the name Christian live by. It is our two word creed.

    In the gospel reading this morning, Jesus talks about eternal life being our destiny. I am the bread of life he says. And whoever eats of me will have eternal life.

    We eat of him week by week and are nourished by the comforts of the Eucharist at this table. And as we receive the bread each week we receive the challenge to make the world one in which everyone has enough to eat, people to love them and joy in great abundance.

    I believe that lamentation is important and needs to be part of our song. But I also believe that lament will not be the last song that we sing.

    There are alleluias to be had in putting the world to rights. There are hosannas to be sung in worship in sharing the business of a God who wills goodness and love for everyone who draws breath.

    I am aware of the deep despair that people have been feeling about the world recently.

    Lament and do it well. But lament and live.

    In this place, every week, before we eat of the bread of life, we hear the bidding, “Lift up your hearts!”

    As we hear that this week, let us hear it as a command.

    For God is good. And goodness will prevail. And love wins.

    Always and forever, love wins.

    In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the holy Spirit. Amen.

     

9 responses to “The Episcopal Way of Death”

  1. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    The greatest privilege I have ever had in the service of the people of the church was to be the person who received the coffin the night before the funeral and led Compline then. The church was on an island, and the coffins those of people I loved and honoured. It was deeply moving for everybody there. I hope one day that will be done for me and mine.

  2. Sr Alison Joy Avatar
    Sr Alison Joy

    I have prayed washed and dressed Sisters who have died and it helped me to see that death is not scary. I have lined a number of Sisters graves with flowers around the inner edge from the inside, also helpful. The body was received at Vespers in Chapel the day before, Solemn Requiem was the next day complete with asperges and incense. We returned from the graveside and when in Chapel sung a very joyful favorite hymn for the Sister we had just buried. It was always a sad, happy, remembering occasion I hope that I will be able to have most of this too.

  3. Sarah Lawton Avatar
    Sarah Lawton

    This is beautifully said.

    When my parents died in a car crash, we knew our Episcopal church would be too small to accommodate all the mourners; but the local Roman Catholic congregation saw our need and graciously offered the use of their space for our Episcopal funeral (including Eucharist led by two Episcopal bishops). They also offered their pall for the second coffin as we had only one. All the churches and the synagogue in town offered choir members and/or food for the feast after the service. An ecumenical, indeed, interfaith foretaste of heaven!

    We placed the two bodies in closed coffins in our Episcopal church the night before; we prayed Evensong and Compline, and received a long line of visitors; and then parishioners kept vigil with the bodies all night. In the morning we prayed over the bodies before beginning the procession to the larger RC church where the (Episcopal) funeral was to be held. In this sad, glorious service sang many, many Easter hymns, and I learned that it’s possible to sing and sing even through tears. I’m told that people reconciled that day who had not spoken in years – I’ve heard it from both parties (one now a bishop).

    All of which is to say: our Episcopal Way of Death can be a profound grace if we let it. It can be profound too when it’s a simple, small, quiet service for a person who has lived a long life and died of old age (unlike my parents). It’s the same words, the same truth of loss – all of us pass through this life but for a moment – the same mystery, the same words of affirmation and hope at the grave: alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.

    1. Kelvin Avatar

      Thank you for posting that – bearing witness to exactly what I was trying to say.

    2. Michael Povey Avatar
      Michael Povey

      Thanks Sarah. (Other readers, Sarah is a friend. I was at the Funeral and heard her offer the most profound Gospel Centred and Honest Grief eulogy I have ever heard)

      1. Sarah Lawton Avatar
        Sarah Lawton

        Dear Michael, thank you for saying that. Your presence that day was a blessing to our family. That gathering, for all the shock and sadness, really did feel like a foretaste of heaven, didn’t it? A great cloud of witnesses singing with us.

  4. Ronnie Smith Avatar

    Having attended a few funerals in our parish recently – one of them for our Vicar, who died on Easter Eve – and being nearer to the grave myself (at 85 and still active as a priest) I appreciate, Father Kelvin, the care you take over this special subject. The Church can be so close to families at this special time – giving them a taste of ‘The great love of God as revealed in the Son’ – precious at this time.

  5. Tony Whatmough Avatar
    Tony Whatmough

    There are sometimes good reasons for having the cremation first, as there was for my brother yesterday especially with people traveling and wanting to be able to bury the ashes on the same day. They key is to talk with the family about what they are looking for and how it can be done.

    1. Kelvin Avatar

      Dear Tony, I’m sorry to hear that you’ve lost your brother. May be rest in peace and rise in glory.

      There are always reasons why people want to have a cremation first and people always believe that they are good reasons. Every single time there are reasons. My contention is that I’m unpersuaded that any of them justify changing what we believe. (What we do and what we believe being utterly bound up with one another in such circumstances).

      My point about funerals is very precisely that the wishes of the family are important but that no tradition will survive if we simply abandon what we believe for reasons of convenience.

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