• Teaching for the Diocese

    Oh, what a jolly afternoon yesterday, teaching a development session for folks from the diocese on how to use WordPress in general and the new Scottish Episcopal web template in particular. I’m not sure what it was that made me agree to the foolishness of such a teaching session on my first day back from holiday – must have been the difficulty of several diaries needing to play off one another. However, I’m glad that I did it. I’ve not been in a computer lab for years and there was something rather fun about doing it. My best moment for the afternoon was getting people to learn how to use drop-down menus in less than five minutes and see their faces light up with joy.

    The whole thing was very typical of the Scottish Episcopal Church, of course. I suspect that there are not many people in the Anglican world who run a Cathedral who would find themselves teaching webskills on a Monday afternoon to folk from the diocese. I actually like the fact that our church is a bit like that. Our church being like that makes for a very varied life and rewards the generalist who has a bit of skill in a lot of things rather than the specialist who is good only for a narrow range of skills.

    I was very interested that the gender balance of the group was 10 to 1 in favour of women. I don’t know what conclusion to draw from this. Could it be for any of these reasons:

    • Women do communication and men don’t
    • Women think communication is important and men don’t
    • Women are more ready to admit they don’t know something and go for training whilst men presume
    • Men are more likely to tinker and get something going themselves
    • Communication isn’t regarded as important and unimportant things are “women’s work”
    • Women are communication positive, men are information positive
    • Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus

    Anyway, I’m very grateful to all those who were there. It was a very enjoyable afternoon and I got a lot out of it myself. Just like when I did the pilgrimage days in the Cathedral a few months ago, I find myself realising how much I enjoy teaching – something I would never have guessed about myself when I was younger.

9 responses to “The Episcopal Way of Death”

  1. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    The greatest privilege I have ever had in the service of the people of the church was to be the person who received the coffin the night before the funeral and led Compline then. The church was on an island, and the coffins those of people I loved and honoured. It was deeply moving for everybody there. I hope one day that will be done for me and mine.

  2. Sr Alison Joy Avatar
    Sr Alison Joy

    I have prayed washed and dressed Sisters who have died and it helped me to see that death is not scary. I have lined a number of Sisters graves with flowers around the inner edge from the inside, also helpful. The body was received at Vespers in Chapel the day before, Solemn Requiem was the next day complete with asperges and incense. We returned from the graveside and when in Chapel sung a very joyful favorite hymn for the Sister we had just buried. It was always a sad, happy, remembering occasion I hope that I will be able to have most of this too.

  3. Sarah Lawton Avatar
    Sarah Lawton

    This is beautifully said.

    When my parents died in a car crash, we knew our Episcopal church would be too small to accommodate all the mourners; but the local Roman Catholic congregation saw our need and graciously offered the use of their space for our Episcopal funeral (including Eucharist led by two Episcopal bishops). They also offered their pall for the second coffin as we had only one. All the churches and the synagogue in town offered choir members and/or food for the feast after the service. An ecumenical, indeed, interfaith foretaste of heaven!

    We placed the two bodies in closed coffins in our Episcopal church the night before; we prayed Evensong and Compline, and received a long line of visitors; and then parishioners kept vigil with the bodies all night. In the morning we prayed over the bodies before beginning the procession to the larger RC church where the (Episcopal) funeral was to be held. In this sad, glorious service sang many, many Easter hymns, and I learned that it’s possible to sing and sing even through tears. I’m told that people reconciled that day who had not spoken in years – I’ve heard it from both parties (one now a bishop).

    All of which is to say: our Episcopal Way of Death can be a profound grace if we let it. It can be profound too when it’s a simple, small, quiet service for a person who has lived a long life and died of old age (unlike my parents). It’s the same words, the same truth of loss – all of us pass through this life but for a moment – the same mystery, the same words of affirmation and hope at the grave: alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.

    1. Kelvin Avatar

      Thank you for posting that – bearing witness to exactly what I was trying to say.

    2. Michael Povey Avatar
      Michael Povey

      Thanks Sarah. (Other readers, Sarah is a friend. I was at the Funeral and heard her offer the most profound Gospel Centred and Honest Grief eulogy I have ever heard)

      1. Sarah Lawton Avatar
        Sarah Lawton

        Dear Michael, thank you for saying that. Your presence that day was a blessing to our family. That gathering, for all the shock and sadness, really did feel like a foretaste of heaven, didn’t it? A great cloud of witnesses singing with us.

  4. Ronnie Smith Avatar

    Having attended a few funerals in our parish recently – one of them for our Vicar, who died on Easter Eve – and being nearer to the grave myself (at 85 and still active as a priest) I appreciate, Father Kelvin, the care you take over this special subject. The Church can be so close to families at this special time – giving them a taste of ‘The great love of God as revealed in the Son’ – precious at this time.

  5. Tony Whatmough Avatar
    Tony Whatmough

    There are sometimes good reasons for having the cremation first, as there was for my brother yesterday especially with people traveling and wanting to be able to bury the ashes on the same day. They key is to talk with the family about what they are looking for and how it can be done.

    1. Kelvin Avatar

      Dear Tony, I’m sorry to hear that you’ve lost your brother. May be rest in peace and rise in glory.

      There are always reasons why people want to have a cremation first and people always believe that they are good reasons. Every single time there are reasons. My contention is that I’m unpersuaded that any of them justify changing what we believe. (What we do and what we believe being utterly bound up with one another in such circumstances).

      My point about funerals is very precisely that the wishes of the family are important but that no tradition will survive if we simply abandon what we believe for reasons of convenience.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Previous Posts

  • Eco-congregation

    I'm just about to go to a meeting about the eco-congregation project with our local Green Apostle. The Green Apostle in question led a great Nature Walk last Sunday for members of the congregation. 14 people turned up and had a wonderful hour looking for the holy at Doune Ponds. I am in awe of how…

  • Wednesday morning

    I remember someone o­nce saying a little unkindly of Richard Holloway (the retired Bishop of Edinburgh) that he never had an unpublished thought. Blogging can seem to be a bit like that. A whole new culture which will affect some of the things that I care about very much, for example, both politics and religion.…

  • Reading List

    The greatest achievement of this summer has been to finish Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie. I've taken this book o­n holiday for the last four or five years and never got very far with it. The problem was the first few pages. I would read them and then stop in wonderment at the writing, put the…

  • Unicorns

    I laughed a lot when I saw this week's front page of  Anglicans o­nline – they note that there is more in the KJV of the Bible about unicorns than about homosexuality.