What is in Kelvin's Head?

10 Correct Opinions About Christmas Carols

27/12/2018
Public service announcement.

The following opinions are all correct.
1. The first carol on Christmas Day should always be Christians Awake Salute the Happy Morn. It should be sung lustily and with the last line repeated.
2. While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night may be sung to almost any tune. It must not, however, be sung to the tune Winchester Old
  - Acceptable tunes shall include:
    
    Liverpool
    
    Glasgow
    
    Lyngham
    
    Old Foster
    
    Sweet Chiming Christmas Bells
    
    Cranbrook – This may only be used once in every decade in any one place. There’s a limit to how entertaining it is.
3. The best carol of all is It Came Upon the Midnight Clear and it must be sung to the tune Noel by Arthur Sullivan. There are many things in which the US based Episcopal Church is correct but it is incorrect in its choice of tune for this carol. It may also be sung at Michaelmas. The incorrect words “It Came upon a midnight clear” are anathema. They have as much place in the Christian faith as Sundays before Advent or Sundays before Lent – ie none whatsoever.
4. Jingle Bells is not a carol.
5. The carol Of the Father’s Love Begotten may be sung at any time from Advent Sunday until the Feast of Candlemas. It must only be sung to the words agreed by Mr Frikki Walker and myself. The verse about seer and sybyl must always be included as it is both profound and reminds us all of Sybil Fawlty. I have every intention of broadcasting this carol unto the nation at the earliest opportunity so that everyone else may copy the St Mary’s version of the words.
6. 10 points may be claimed for anyone spotting a heresy in any carol. A bonus of 50 points is awarded to anyone who can come up with a heresy-free version that people will enjoy singing.
  - Your starter for 10 is “Veiled in flesh the Godhead see” which sounds like Docetism to me.
7. Anyone claiming that carols should be sung “in the original version” shall be required to sing Hark How All The Welkin Rings at the next carol service they are at and will then be required to explain to everyone at the door what a welkin is.
8. In the Bleak Midwinter may be sung, even though Jesus probably was not born amidst snow. However, it may only be sung by a good choir singing the Harold Darke version.
9. O Come All Ye Faithful is a Jacobite rallying call and is most proper for Scottish Episcopalians to sing.
10. Christmas cake should be eaten with cheese and not marzipan and icing.
Thank you for your attention.
Christmas carols

9 responses to “David's Lamentation – Sermon for 9 August 2009”

Muriel

09/08/2009

Thank you very much for your very moving rendition of David’s Lamentation this morning in between the two readings. You were in excellent voice. I am surprised there are (as yet) no more comments but I am glad that the video held in there until your song was ended.
I will be putting in on my new IPod once I have bought it and,more importantly, got to grips with it.
A haunting and memorable moment……

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susan s.

10/08/2009

Thank you for posting this Lamentation. As Muriel says, haunting and memorable. If ever I get to Glasgow again I can come to church and hear you in person.

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RosemaryHannah

10/08/2009

It not only moved me to tears (not that hard) – it raised the hairs on the back of my arms – which is just about vanishingly rare. Stunning does not do justice to it. Just how profoundly the congregation were affected was heard in the quality of the silence which fell afterwards.

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Sarah SSM

11/08/2009

Thank you very much for this sermon and for the music accompanying it.

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Jimmy

12/08/2009

Considering the machinations of our leaders over the last few years, the accounts of David’s life are quite up to date.
In our hearts and in our political and social structures we are no better than the people then and we have not moved on.
Hypocricy at home and exploitation abroad is not my idea of an improved mankind or world.
There is not one person in this world who does not need to get on their knees with psalm 51 in front of them.

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kelvin

12/08/2009

Yes, someone said to me on Sunday that they did not think we had moved on at all. However, I think we have.

Clearly the whole world hasn’t moved on at the same pace or to the same place. However, I’d rather live in the UK with all its faults and failings than live in Burma or Zimbabwe or Afghanistan.

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Grandmère Mimi

12/08/2009

The lamentation is beautifully done, Kelvin.

I’m with your parishioner who said that we have not come so very far from the times of David.

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Aghaveagh

12/08/2009

Simply wonderful.

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Maureen (McK)

16/08/2009

I loved the lamentation, Kelvin, having never heard it before. The sermon was very good, too. Thanks

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