What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Missional – Your Time Has Come

    Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

    I hereby announce an international competition to rid the ears of the godly of a peculiar modern ugliness. Everywhere I go (and I’ve recently been engaged on a quest to go just about everywhere) I’m hearing the word MISSIONAL used in church circles. It seems to me that this is a modern phenomenon and one from which we need to be freed.

    How long, oh Lord, how long? How long will you let your church think it can succeed in bringing your love to the world whilst it mangles English grammar?

    Is it not enough that we have kidnapped the word INTENTIONAL and used it for our own devices and desires. It was clearly a sin for whoever first added those two little letters to have created such a hybrid monster. Greater though was the sin of those who GIFTED it from one Christian community to another.

    No, no, and a thousand times no. Missional will not do.

    Yet the trouble is, what should we use instead? Is there a simple word or very short phrase that is more acceptable to holy earlugs than missional?

    I declare a competition to find something else. Bring out your simplicity. Wash your spotless grammatical linen in public. Wear your loveliest past participles on your sleeve. Offer up your adjectives. Pour a gentle libation of adverbs before the altar of the Lord.

    Please, please. Offer an alternative.

    Suggestions welcome in the comments below.

    A crown of laurel to the winner.

    , ,

18 responses to “Biretta Watch – Snowy Day”

  1. Lay clerk Avatar
    Lay clerk

    Hats are old hat. What you really need is a papal ombrellino to keep the snow off! Then you could wear a wooly hat under it which no one would notice because they’d all be so impressed by what you were carrying. Or maybe what the server was carrying for you.

    Reply
  2. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    Don’t think for a moment, Lay Clerk, that I have not used such a liturgical essential whilst worshipping the Lord in Scotland.

    I most certainly have, though not to keep the snow off.

    Reply
  3. Lay clerk Avatar
    Lay clerk

    Heaven forfend that I would even consider for a fleeting moment that you had not taken advantage of the full panoply of liturgical sex-aids available!

    Reply
  4. David |Dah • veed| Avatar
    David |Dah • veed|

    I am sure that the proper term Lay Clerk is paraments!

    Reply
  5. Jeff Queen Avatar
    Jeff Queen

    I do like the biretta when traveling…will be wearing one this weekend in the St. Patrick’s day parade. Just a thought, maybe you should change the name of the site to “What’s on Kelvin’s Head.” Just a thought.

    Reply
  6. Paul Avatar
    Paul

    Have been trying desperately to find a Canterbury Cap these last few weeks. Seems no-one makes or sells them anymore!
    A shame, as my former parish was the home of Lancelot Andrewes and they are celebrating his contribution to the translation of the KJB during a Festival Weekend, 24/25 September. I so wanted to wear a hat more in sympathy with the 17th century!
    I shall either default to a skullcap or a biretta, I guess….
    😉

    Reply
  7. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    Some academic head gear (doctoral level) is based on the Canterbury Cap – try academic outfitters.

    Reply
  8. Kennedy Avatar
    Kennedy

    I think I saw +Idris sporting one at the TISEC award ceremony.

    Maybe he’ll know where to get one.

    Reply

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