What is in Kelvin's Head?

Tales of the City – February 2020

20/02/2020

On the way home from the opera I step into a shop to get out of the rain, and buy something to eat against the cold – a late-night post-operatic chittery-bite.

In front of me are two young men dressed in much less than I am. They are the worse for wear and arguing.

Drunk Young Man #1: Well we’ll ask someone else then.

Drunk Young Man #2: Yes! Someone neutral.

They turn to me.

DYM#1: Here man. Settle an arugment for us will you. Is coronavirus real or is it propoganda

Self: I think it is real.

DYM#2: Aye man. Told you. It *is* real. He said so. Here, I bet you do a very responsible job

DYM#1: Aye very responsible. What are you man?

I hesitate a moment and consider how to answer.

DYM#2: I bet he’s a Supply Chain Manager. Are you a Supply Chain Manager, man?

I smile a smile that I hope will look like the smile of a cold wet Supply Chain Manager.

DYM#2: I knew it.

DYM#1: Hey, do you have a lighter?

I shake my head.

We are all forlorn that I do not have a lighter.

Tales of the City

8 responses to “Still snuffling”

ryan

01/12/2008

Kelvin, it sounds like you have the far more serious man-flu, not just a mere man-cold.

Reply
Vicky Gunn

01/12/2008

Kelvin
Apologies for keeping you at arm’s length in Church – just got over a dose of lesbian man-cold a few weeks ago, which I generously passed to all my colleagues at work. Having been persona non grata for that I thought I just shouldn’t risk it. Service last night was beautiful.

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Andrew

01/12/2008

Kelvin,
The hardest thing to accept, when you’re not well, is that you really are ill. The best thing to do is to keep away from other people and stay in bed with a hot water bottle, and preferably with a hot toddy laced with plenty of whisky. It won’t do you any good, but it might make you feel better.
Get better soon. Andrew

Reply
Erp

01/12/2008

Wrap yourself up in a warm bed with a comfort book and perhaps some comfort music (and this time of year allows carol singing as comfort music). I would suggest hot chicken soup (hot and sour Chinese style chicken soup maybe) instead of a hot toddy with whiskey.

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Stewart

01/12/2008

Considered opinion on Sunday is that is was not man-flu, but provost-flu 😉

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David |Dah • veed|

01/12/2008

‘Tis the season. I have had it for two weeks now. The first week I was a good muchacho and just used cold pills to relieve the symptoms, caldo de pollo con chili (it really opens the sinuses) and té del limón con tequila. Because I know that colds and flu are caused by viruses, I did not do the Mexican thing and go buy an antibiotic.

But then the fluids turned green and yellow, which is the sign of a secondary bacterial infection, so I am taking amoxicilina con acido clavulanico, and slowly getting better.

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ChickPea

01/12/2008

Was good to see we had the Precious Provostorial Presence in our midst last night – tissues and all. And even better to see the digits getting some exercise today – suggests there’s maybe been a slight turn for the better, despite missing out on a most medicinal port – do try port as a remedy, David – MUCH more effective than trying dreadful things with my poor chooks, who are trembling on their perches at the thought of erp’s suggestions…….

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Rev Ruth

02/12/2008

Are you languishing on your chaise longue with a blood-stained handkerchief held limply in your outstretched pale hand? If so, I fear it may be consumption.

But no listening to Christmas carols, mind.

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