What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • 25 More Questions for people who want to make their churches grow

    A lot of people seem to have been sharing my 25 Questions for people who want to make their churches grow on social media.

    So, here’s 25 more…

    1. If you didn’t have to go to your church on Sunday would you still go?
    2. Are the clergy happy?
    3. Are the musicians happy?
    4. Does the congregation have a stronger ethos than that of its denomination?
    5. What one thing could you change this week to make the worship better?
    6. Why didn’t you make that change last week?
    7. What steps are you taking to make the phrase “All are Welcome” come true?
    8. Do you do church business on a Sunday after church or is there a better time for that?
    9. In the next month are you more likely to spend time on ecumenical activities or church growth activities?
    10. Do people who leave become ex-members who have disappeared or do they still contribute to the life and ministry of the place?
    11. What is the noticeboard like?
    12. What is the first thing you see when you come through the door?
    13. Did you implement the recommendations of the last “mystery worshipper” you asked to give you a candid assessment?
    14. Which church events in the next six months will be newsworthy locally?
    15. Which church events in the next six months will be reported in the local media?
    16. Do you have enough staff and who decides this?
    17. What would your clergy really like to do that they can’t because of the laity?
    18. What would your laity really like to do that they can’t because of the clergy?
    19. Which would attract young families more – a bible-based week long summer activity for children or letting it be known that gay people are welcome in your church?
    20. Can you email those members of your congregation who want to receive regular updates?
    21. Do you email those members of your congregatio who want to receve regular updates?
    22. Has someone done the work required to make sure emails sent to large numbers of people don’t end up in spam boxes?
    23. Who in the congregation has gifts that could be better used doing a different job in the congregation than what they are currently doing?
    24. Who is your volunteer co-ordinator and is it obvious how to contact them?
    25. Can you volunteer without being a member of the church?

8 responses to “Still snuffling”

  1. ryan Avatar
    ryan

    Kelvin, it sounds like you have the far more serious man-flu, not just a mere man-cold.

    Reply
  2. Vicky Gunn Avatar
    Vicky Gunn

    Kelvin
    Apologies for keeping you at arm’s length in Church – just got over a dose of lesbian man-cold a few weeks ago, which I generously passed to all my colleagues at work. Having been persona non grata for that I thought I just shouldn’t risk it. Service last night was beautiful.

    Reply
  3. Andrew Avatar
    Andrew

    Kelvin,
    The hardest thing to accept, when you’re not well, is that you really are ill. The best thing to do is to keep away from other people and stay in bed with a hot water bottle, and preferably with a hot toddy laced with plenty of whisky. It won’t do you any good, but it might make you feel better.
    Get better soon. Andrew

    Reply
  4. Erp Avatar
    Erp

    Wrap yourself up in a warm bed with a comfort book and perhaps some comfort music (and this time of year allows carol singing as comfort music). I would suggest hot chicken soup (hot and sour Chinese style chicken soup maybe) instead of a hot toddy with whiskey.

    Reply
  5. Stewart Avatar
    Stewart

    Considered opinion on Sunday is that is was not man-flu, but provost-flu 😉

    Reply
  6. David |Dah • veed| Avatar
    David |Dah • veed|

    ‘Tis the season. I have had it for two weeks now. The first week I was a good muchacho and just used cold pills to relieve the symptoms, caldo de pollo con chili (it really opens the sinuses) and té del limón con tequila. Because I know that colds and flu are caused by viruses, I did not do the Mexican thing and go buy an antibiotic.

    But then the fluids turned green and yellow, which is the sign of a secondary bacterial infection, so I am taking amoxicilina con acido clavulanico, and slowly getting better.

    Reply
  7. ChickPea Avatar
    ChickPea

    Was good to see we had the Precious Provostorial Presence in our midst last night – tissues and all. And even better to see the digits getting some exercise today – suggests there’s maybe been a slight turn for the better, despite missing out on a most medicinal port – do try port as a remedy, David – MUCH more effective than trying dreadful things with my poor chooks, who are trembling on their perches at the thought of erp’s suggestions…….

    Reply
  8. Rev Ruth Avatar
    Rev Ruth

    Are you languishing on your chaise longue with a blood-stained handkerchief held limply in your outstretched pale hand? If so, I fear it may be consumption.

    But no listening to Christmas carols, mind.

    Reply

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