What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Sermon preached on 12 October 2014

    20141012 kelvin holdsworth – gnashing of teeth.movie from Kelvin Holdsworth on Vimeo.

    ‘Bind him hand and foot, and throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ For many are called, but few are chosen

    In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

    Here in St Mary’s we end our Gospel reading with the response – Give thanks to the Lord for his Glorious Gospel, Praise to Christ our Lord.

    In many churches, they end readings with the response “This is the Word of the Lord – Thanks be to God”.

    I think that is one of those readings from scripture that would tempt me greatly, if that was the response that we were used to, to say, “Is this the word of the Lord?”

    There’s no denying at all that it is a tricky gospel reading for many people who will be sitting here this morning.

    Maybe you don’t think so and find it an obvious way of reinforcing what you believe – that anyone who doesn’t conform with what God wants will be thrown out of the feast unto the outer darkness.

    Well, if that’s you, then good luck living your life with it. I know it isn’t for me.

    Conformity to anything is a challenge to me and I find myself immediately troubled by the poor victim of Jesus’s tale who gets thrown out of all that is good and nourishing simply for breaking a dress code. What’s that all about?

    Well, perhaps the best I can do this morning is to tell a few more stories. Let us see whether we can start to unravel this parable by telling some more parables.

    Here’s one about dress codes to soften you up and we’ll come back to the gospel story in a minute.

    Once upon a time (about four weeks ago) in a land far away (the West End of Glasgow) there was a Provost. And the Provost would strut around his cathedral the Lord of all he surveyed. He was young (or at least he still thought he was still young) and witty (or so they told him at the end of the service in about half an hour’s time) and he was handsome and fair…..and thanks be to God, he was modest and humble too. (more…)

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8 responses to “Still snuffling”

  1. ryan Avatar
    ryan

    Kelvin, it sounds like you have the far more serious man-flu, not just a mere man-cold.

    Reply
  2. Vicky Gunn Avatar
    Vicky Gunn

    Kelvin
    Apologies for keeping you at arm’s length in Church – just got over a dose of lesbian man-cold a few weeks ago, which I generously passed to all my colleagues at work. Having been persona non grata for that I thought I just shouldn’t risk it. Service last night was beautiful.

    Reply
  3. Andrew Avatar
    Andrew

    Kelvin,
    The hardest thing to accept, when you’re not well, is that you really are ill. The best thing to do is to keep away from other people and stay in bed with a hot water bottle, and preferably with a hot toddy laced with plenty of whisky. It won’t do you any good, but it might make you feel better.
    Get better soon. Andrew

    Reply
  4. Erp Avatar
    Erp

    Wrap yourself up in a warm bed with a comfort book and perhaps some comfort music (and this time of year allows carol singing as comfort music). I would suggest hot chicken soup (hot and sour Chinese style chicken soup maybe) instead of a hot toddy with whiskey.

    Reply
  5. Stewart Avatar
    Stewart

    Considered opinion on Sunday is that is was not man-flu, but provost-flu 😉

    Reply
  6. David |Dah • veed| Avatar
    David |Dah • veed|

    ‘Tis the season. I have had it for two weeks now. The first week I was a good muchacho and just used cold pills to relieve the symptoms, caldo de pollo con chili (it really opens the sinuses) and té del limón con tequila. Because I know that colds and flu are caused by viruses, I did not do the Mexican thing and go buy an antibiotic.

    But then the fluids turned green and yellow, which is the sign of a secondary bacterial infection, so I am taking amoxicilina con acido clavulanico, and slowly getting better.

    Reply
  7. ChickPea Avatar
    ChickPea

    Was good to see we had the Precious Provostorial Presence in our midst last night – tissues and all. And even better to see the digits getting some exercise today – suggests there’s maybe been a slight turn for the better, despite missing out on a most medicinal port – do try port as a remedy, David – MUCH more effective than trying dreadful things with my poor chooks, who are trembling on their perches at the thought of erp’s suggestions…….

    Reply
  8. Rev Ruth Avatar
    Rev Ruth

    Are you languishing on your chaise longue with a blood-stained handkerchief held limply in your outstretched pale hand? If so, I fear it may be consumption.

    But no listening to Christmas carols, mind.

    Reply

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