What is in Kelvin's Head?

The 10 Commandments of Using Images on Church Websites

08/02/2013

1 – Thou shalt remember that a burning candle is not the only image of all that is holy and all that is true.

2 – Thou shalt not put the vulnerable at risk by revealing their identity and location.

3 – Thou shalt remember when using pictures of people that the Lord thy God made them in great and glorious diversity.

4 – Thou shalt not waste bandwidth and so shall learn how to reduce the size of thy photographs tenfold, fiftyfold or even a hundredfold.

5 – Thou shalt not use photographs of church meetings to illustrate the life of the church for to believe that the meetings of the church represent the life and joy that the Lord thy God brings unto thee is to have heard and believed the lies of the Evil One.

6 – Thou shalt not use photographs of groups of people where half the people have their backs unto the camera.

7 – Thou shalt not include more than one photograph of the bishop (or the moderator, the pope or the Lord High Executioner of Titipu) standing around in robes next to other people standing around in robes.

8 – Thou shalt love thy neighbour’s photographs as thine own, by setting up a Flickr group for them to post their images to so that you have a greater range of photographs to use on thy church website.

9 – Thou shalt respect the copyright of every image that thou shalt use and give credit where it is due.

10 – Thou shalt change thine images once in a while for to worship one image alone is not merely idolatry but risks the masses believing that the house of the Lord thy God is dull. And dullness is the sin against the Holy Ghost whereof many have spoken.

Photo Credit: Afonso Lima of Brazil

If you’ve any further commandments – do chip in with them in the comments.Â “Why just 10?” as Moses said as he staggered down the mountain…

church websites, how to use images, web design

8 responses to “Still snuffling”

ryan

01/12/2008

Kelvin, it sounds like you have the far more serious man-flu, not just a mere man-cold.

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Vicky Gunn

01/12/2008

Kelvin
Apologies for keeping you at arm’s length in Church – just got over a dose of lesbian man-cold a few weeks ago, which I generously passed to all my colleagues at work. Having been persona non grata for that I thought I just shouldn’t risk it. Service last night was beautiful.

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Andrew

01/12/2008

Kelvin,
The hardest thing to accept, when you’re not well, is that you really are ill. The best thing to do is to keep away from other people and stay in bed with a hot water bottle, and preferably with a hot toddy laced with plenty of whisky. It won’t do you any good, but it might make you feel better.
Get better soon. Andrew

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Erp

01/12/2008

Wrap yourself up in a warm bed with a comfort book and perhaps some comfort music (and this time of year allows carol singing as comfort music). I would suggest hot chicken soup (hot and sour Chinese style chicken soup maybe) instead of a hot toddy with whiskey.

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Stewart

01/12/2008

Considered opinion on Sunday is that is was not man-flu, but provost-flu 😉

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David |Dah • veed|

01/12/2008

‘Tis the season. I have had it for two weeks now. The first week I was a good muchacho and just used cold pills to relieve the symptoms, caldo de pollo con chili (it really opens the sinuses) and té del limón con tequila. Because I know that colds and flu are caused by viruses, I did not do the Mexican thing and go buy an antibiotic.

But then the fluids turned green and yellow, which is the sign of a secondary bacterial infection, so I am taking amoxicilina con acido clavulanico, and slowly getting better.

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ChickPea

01/12/2008

Was good to see we had the Precious Provostorial Presence in our midst last night – tissues and all. And even better to see the digits getting some exercise today – suggests there’s maybe been a slight turn for the better, despite missing out on a most medicinal port – do try port as a remedy, David – MUCH more effective than trying dreadful things with my poor chooks, who are trembling on their perches at the thought of erp’s suggestions…….

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Rev Ruth

02/12/2008

Are you languishing on your chaise longue with a blood-stained handkerchief held limply in your outstretched pale hand? If so, I fear it may be consumption.

But no listening to Christmas carols, mind.

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