What is in Kelvin's Head?

Tales of the City – February 2020

20/02/2020

On the way home from the opera I step into a shop to get out of the rain, and buy something to eat against the cold – a late-night post-operatic chittery-bite.

In front of me are two young men dressed in much less than I am. They are the worse for wear and arguing.

Drunk Young Man #1: Well we’ll ask someone else then.

Drunk Young Man #2: Yes! Someone neutral.

They turn to me.

DYM#1: Here man. Settle an arugment for us will you. Is coronavirus real or is it propoganda

Self: I think it is real.

DYM#2: Aye man. Told you. It *is* real. He said so. Here, I bet you do a very responsible job

DYM#1: Aye very responsible. What are you man?

I hesitate a moment and consider how to answer.

DYM#2: I bet he’s a Supply Chain Manager. Are you a Supply Chain Manager, man?

I smile a smile that I hope will look like the smile of a cold wet Supply Chain Manager.

DYM#2: I knew it.

DYM#1: Hey, do you have a lighter?

I shake my head.

We are all forlorn that I do not have a lighter.

Tales of the City

8 responses to “Deck the hair…”

(fabulous for an alleged evangelical) ryan

27/10/2008

Out of interest, is there a proper churchy rule or convention on the right time for Christmas trees to go up? Don’t know if the grumpiness in your post is personal or praepostorial

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Kimberly

27/10/2008

A properly churchy time for the Christmas tree to go up is at Chrismas. i.e. after the fourth Sunday of Advent and in time for the Midnight Mass.

Grumpiness about Christmas in October is natural and appropriate, surely.

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Anne

28/10/2008

On a sliding scale of grumpiness which is worse, harumph or bah humbug?[PS M and S had hot cross buns in their bakery today]

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ChickPea

29/10/2008

Ah, Kelvin…….. I wonder, is there a link between the demoralising ‘Facebook’ notices bewailed in your last post and your enticing sentiments expressed in this ?

Perhaps you need to create a little sunshine to tempt them – a little progressive development of the fly-fishing technique, the swish and flick of the wrist, the fleeting glimpse of temptation just enough in sight to, er, arouse interest……

Maybe your own bedecked seasonal tree (call it an ‘Advent Tree’ to thwart the Christmas Tree Traditionalists – thereby launching yourself as a trend-setter) – such tree selected and styled with eagerness in longing anticipation of future festivities……..

(You could call it ‘forward planning par excellence’, even, to gain bonus brownie points and thwart critics)…..

Then, perchance, the ‘Facebook Fanatics’ may clamour to, er, beat a path to your door ?

(Tho……. more to the point……. would you honestly be wanting them to ?……….is that really where Everyman finds his bosom buddies ?)

PS. Put your dazzling Advent Tree prominently in your window and WE’ll all come round so’s you’re not lonely – how’s that for a Gloom-Buster to tweak the morale, eh ?

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kelvin

29/10/2008

I think that facebook is just another meeting place and similar patterns of community seem to play out there though sometimes at a faster rate than in face to face communication. Certainly, the flirting, fighting and flummery as well as thoughtful the slow conversation that I recognise from off-line communication, is all present there too.

Would I want to entice those who would be enticed by early Christmas trees, albeit dressed up in another name.

I’d rather not.

[BTW Anne – three Harumphs certainly trump a single Bah Humbug]

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Rev Ruth

29/10/2008

I think it is just attention seeking.

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ryan

30/10/2008

Your new hair looks lovely incidently. Am sure you’re turning heads at that clergy conference.

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kelvin

30/10/2008

Ryan, your faith in my hair is almost unbearably touching. At this clergy conference, however, it was trumped by the hair of the Rector of St Margaret’s, Newlands.

He came to the conference whilst his hair did not, his having been shaved completely bald the day before.

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