• Don’t worry – it just religion. It won’t bother you.

    Preached on 20 September 2015

     

    In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

    “Don’t worry,” she said. “Don’t worry, its just a religious thing. It won’t bother you.”

    I’d just arrived in the village. And she said, ““Don’t worry, its just a religious thing. It won’t bother you.””

    You see, I’d hired a car so that I could go a bit off the beaten track.

    I must confess that I hadn’t realised quite how beaten the beaten track might be before I hired the car and had I done so I might have thought twice.

    It is unusual for me to hire a car on holiday. Not something that I’d ever done before. I’d been seduced by the theory that in Malta they drive on the same side of the road as we do and that I’d know what I was doing on the road.

    Several people told me when I was actually there and struggling to make sense of the roads that the Maltese don’t actually drive on the right or the left – they drive, quite sensibly, in the shade.

    But anyway, I put the car into one of its forward gears (I never could work out one from another) and drove off that beaten track and up the road into the village.

    And I was surprised to find that when I got there, something was clearly going on.

    There were embroidered banners all along the street. And flags flying from all the buildings.

    When I got to the B and B that I’d booked online I asked what was going on.

    “Don’t worry,” the proprietor said. “Don’t worry, its just a religious thing. It won’t bother you.”

    Anyway. I settled into my room. And at about 6 pm I heard the bells of the village begin to ring.

    I was tired. I was hot. I just fancied sitting relaxing by the pool.

    But the bells kept ringing.

    I decided to have a wander up to the village square to see what was going on.

    Pushing open the church door, I found a surprisingly big and beautifully kept church and a few older folk at the front saying some kind of litany.

    I decided to stay for a bit and say some prayers quietly at the back.

    Half an hour later, we had implored the intercession of very many saints whom I’d never heard of and I decided it was time to go and find some chips.

    But there was once again the sound of the bells ringing and the lights seemed to come on and people were still arriving. Something seemed to be up so I sat down again.

    What was up was Solemn Vespers. A procession soon arrived of 20 youngsters whom I took to be the choir, a few clergy and a couple of bishops at the back.

    We then proceeded to have solemn vespers – nicely sung with lots of lovely incense. (By this stage, I was starting to realise I’d got lucky).

    An hour later, solemn vespers was over and I thought that it was about time I went out and got some chips.

    But people had kept arriving and yes, the bells rang again. And the central candle on the altar was lit which can only mean solemn pontifical high mass. And soon there was a procession of the boys, the clergy and now half a dozen bishops and yes, in this village in what I’d taken to be the middle of no-where, a cardinal.

    And we then had an hour of glorious liturgy. With more incense and now a good choir and yes, an actual orchestra.

    “Don’t worry,” she’d said. “Don’t worry, its just a religious thing. It won’t bother you.”

    Anyway, the only thing bothering me at the end of all this (by now the church was packed) was my lack of chips and so I got up and went out into the square where I found a few hundred people standing on the steps of the church – members of the congregation who had not been able to get into the church. And by now all the bells in the towers of the church were ringing out into the night. (How great to be able to witness to the actual calling of bells on this Sunday when we celebrate the ringers of this cathedral).

    And right in the middle of them, a life sized statue of our Lady – or as I was learning to call her, our Bambina. And at that moment the first of the marching bands arrived in the village square which was suddenly ablaze with coloured lights. And it soon became apparent that the Bambina herself was going walkabout round the village. Going walkabout for a couple of noisy joyous hours accompanied by ave Marias, marching bands, fireworks, sparklers and yes, glitter canons showering our Lady and the streets she went through with gold.

    And so I learned that I’d just arrived in the village dedicated to the birthday of the Blessed Virgin Mary just before the day celebrated as the birthday of Herself.

    And I can tell you that there’s nothing more lovely in the cool of the day than incense and chips.

    And it was wonderful. But what about that notion that it was just a religious thing and wouldn’t bother me.

    It seems to me that religion is in very great danger of becoming something that wouldn’t bother anyone.

    But when it does, it isn’t really religion.

    Because our aspiration is not simply to change people’s hearts in the privacy of their own prayers. The aspiration of the Christian faith has always been to transform society. Not only to bring about justice but to shower the streets with the gold dust of celebration.

    It lies with religious people – people like us to keep the dream alive that the next celebration is just around the corner – that joy is real and is on offer to everyone in the village.

    It lies with Christian people to live a faith that will bother the world with its claims of redemption, justice, freedom and fun to build a world entirely transformed from the way things already are.

    It lies with us to live the gospel we’ve heard today. “Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes not me but the one who sent me”.

    Doors Open seems to be an idea today that’s full of more meaning for us than simply opening the doors of this cathedral to those who want to look around.

    Doors Open makes me want to work out how to think and pray and act about the refugee crisis. Doors Open makes me think of the gospel about welcoming the little child in the context of the children being carried to safety by parents on the run from wars we have contributed to. And Doors Open is also that mental image of the doors of thinking and ideas that we need to keep open in order to build the better tomorrow that our Lady seemed to be singing as I accompanied her through the village.

    He has cast down the mighty from their thrones,
    and has lifted up the lowly.
    And has filled the hungry with good things.

    Let us take her song upon our own lips and live it in our own lives.

    And, yes, let us bother the world. Let us bother the world into joy.

    In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. And of our Bambina.

    Amen.

10 responses to “Advertise, advertise, advertise!”

  1. Matt Hanson Avatar

    Good writing. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed my Google News Reader..

    Matt Hanson

  2. Eamonn Avatar
    Eamonn

    How naff can you get? It was worth listening to a professional advertiser’s comments on the Lichfield advert on the Sunday programme on Radio 4.

  3. Gavin Drake Avatar

    Adverts that make people in the church feel comfortable are likely to be completely irrelevant to people outside the church. As the instigator and creator of the Lichfield football adverts campaign I stand by them – they did what we wanted them to do. We had a target and we achieved that target. The professional advertising chap on Radio Four was anti the adverts; but he was also anti the entire Christian message as a self-proclaimed militant atheist. His best effort? “Life” – which is a campaign he created for the Billy Graham missions 20 years ago. Hardly creative (now, 20 years on) nor fresh. His message was that the church should get rid of Jesus, God and all the “after life” stuff and concentrate on making people feel good now.

    One final thought, in this blog entry aren’t you demonstrating the Christian Christmas grumpetyness which you appear to be criticising in others?

  4. kelvin Avatar

    Thanks for your comments Gavin.

    You are quite right about my grumpityness though I was not particularly being critical of it in others. Indeed, being able to rely on other people’s grumpityness is one of the things which has ensured a lot of exposure for the CAN ads, for example, the Bad Hair Day campaign and the Meek, Mild As If one. It was the (mock?) outrage of the christian community that got those ads talked about.

    I’m a fan of what the CAN do, which I perhaps did not make clear in the above blog entry.

    I’d be interested to know what the target was and how achieving it was measured.

    I have to confess to feeling embarrassed by the Lichfield ad but then of course, it was not aimed at me.

    I also commented about past CAN campaigns here and here.

  5. Kennedy Avatar
    Kennedy

    Having listened to the CAN adverts, I am left asking what the message was and who was the target audience? If the intention was to familiarise the audience with the characters and motifs from the Christmas story then OK, but there is more that could be said in the time.

    You’ll permit me a small plug for the stuff that GRF produce.

    Have a listen:

    http://smallvoice.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/01-ms-christianity.mp3

    Yes, this uses the style of the M&S ads but I think that it communicates something about the Christian message and in a form that a non-church person could relate to.

    The judges at the Jerusalem Awards seemed to like it as they awarded it the premier award in the ‘Shorts’ category at their awards ceremony last week.

    If you are looking for creative audio to use in churches or schools then have a look at http://www.audiopot.org.

    Kennedy

  6. kelvin Avatar

    Thanks Kennedy. I like the M and S Ad. Very clever. I always like hearing Albatross (the music underneath) because it reminds me of someone I knew a long time ago who used to play it (on large pipe organs) during communion.

    One of the drawbacks of the ads that I was speaking about above is that they all depend on knowing the Christian story. That is perhaps legitimate in a Back to Church Sunday as it is presumably aimed at folk who have gone away knowing something or other.

    The line about the penalty does kind of imply that substitutionary atonement is what we believe though.

    The Lichfield ad certainly got a lot of coverage and if that was the intention, it succeeded.

  7. Elizabeth Avatar
    Elizabeth

    I must admit I found the racing advert amusing. The football ones leave me cold. Aside from issue about inclusivity and dubious theology, I think living in Glasgow has made me very wary of any connection between religion and football.

  8. Coxy Avatar

    I think that the football one is excellent, as does my wife (and she can’t tell the difference between Liverpool and Arsenal – I guess they do both play in red though!). How is it not inclusive of men and women? As I see it there is good build up play from Mary and Joseph before Jesus scores…

  9. kelvin Avatar

    Hi Nick

    I’ve just rescued your comment from a spam filter – don’t know why it got swallowed.

    At St Mary’s we tend to avoid language like “men” where what is really meant is men and women, “mankind” when what is meant really is humanity etc

    This affects things like the language we use for hymns.

    We’d never sing, “Brothers, this Lord Jesus, shall return again” for example. In a mixed crowd it just seems rude.

    There is an ongoing degate about how far to go with this policy but by and large, language inclusive of men and women is the norm at St Mary’s and exclusive language tends to jar and be distractive when you’ve got used to more inclusive language in church. Thus the ad is something we couldn’t use because of the use of the word “man” meaning something other than just men.

  10. ryan Avatar
    ryan

    The term “banter”, as featured in the ad, should also be used by no-one anyway (and only partly because of Chewing the Fat). O the amount of people that have endured abuse and had it expained away as “just banter”.

    Wondering if “male” ads like this are ok if one also does female-centered advertising, or if the whole idea is hoary sexism. St.Silas does a Women 4 Women thing which I believe is popular. No Men 4 Men though.

    Hope I’m immune from the st.silasite ensnaring spam filter
    ;-).

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