What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Sermon preached on 12 October 2014

    20141012 kelvin holdsworth – gnashing of teeth.movie from Kelvin Holdsworth on Vimeo.

    ‘Bind him hand and foot, and throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ For many are called, but few are chosen

    In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

    Here in St Mary’s we end our Gospel reading with the response – Give thanks to the Lord for his Glorious Gospel, Praise to Christ our Lord.

    In many churches, they end readings with the response “This is the Word of the Lord – Thanks be to God”.

    I think that is one of those readings from scripture that would tempt me greatly, if that was the response that we were used to, to say, “Is this the word of the Lord?”

    There’s no denying at all that it is a tricky gospel reading for many people who will be sitting here this morning.

    Maybe you don’t think so and find it an obvious way of reinforcing what you believe – that anyone who doesn’t conform with what God wants will be thrown out of the feast unto the outer darkness.

    Well, if that’s you, then good luck living your life with it. I know it isn’t for me.

    Conformity to anything is a challenge to me and I find myself immediately troubled by the poor victim of Jesus’s tale who gets thrown out of all that is good and nourishing simply for breaking a dress code. What’s that all about?

    Well, perhaps the best I can do this morning is to tell a few more stories. Let us see whether we can start to unravel this parable by telling some more parables.

    Here’s one about dress codes to soften you up and we’ll come back to the gospel story in a minute.

    Once upon a time (about four weeks ago) in a land far away (the West End of Glasgow) there was a Provost. And the Provost would strut around his cathedral the Lord of all he surveyed. He was young (or at least he still thought he was still young) and witty (or so they told him at the end of the service in about half an hour’s time) and he was handsome and fair…..and thanks be to God, he was modest and humble too. (more…)

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8 responses to “Remedy du jour”

  1. Stewart Avatar
    Stewart

    I have had Garlic Mash three times in the past week, and Garlic and Horseradish on a steak last night.

    I do not have a cold, so maybe it will work for you – or at least act as a preventative when am next at St Mary’s.

    Reply
  2. Fiona Avatar
    Fiona

    Kelvin, have you tried mulled wine?

    Sachets with the mulling spices in them shouldn’t be too hard to get hold of (try Peckhams). They look like little teabags. Add a dash of orange juice, maybe float a slice on top as well. : )

    It might not do much for your cold, but at least it’ll help you sleep, which is what you need right now — rest and fluids.

    Also worth trying is a Hot Toddy.

    Hope you feel better soon.

    ~Fiona.

    Reply
  3. Roddy Avatar
    Roddy

    Garlic’s not a bad idea. I’ve always found if I have a hot, garlic soaked, curry when I’ve got the lurgy I feel better.

    Reply
  4. asphodeline Avatar
    asphodeline

    What you need is a hot curry followed by a hot bath!

    This man cold of yours is lingering on a bit or are you “milking” this illness??!!

    Reply
  5. Andrew Avatar
    Andrew

    What is a man cold? Don’t women get them too?

    Reply
  6. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    It seems to be a widely held view amongst women that men make much of their sufferings when they get a cold.

    There is an urban dictionary definition here.

    There are some who say that the female equivalent of a mancold is the flu, but I could not possibly comment.

    Reply
  7. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    If Ms Asphodeline is fed up of hearing about my poor state of health, presumably it will be quite a while before we hear anything about her own on livejournal.

    Reply
  8. asphodeline Avatar
    asphodeline

    Haha, you know I’ll probably get the office lurgy now?!

    I hope you feel better soon. There’s nothing worse than a man with a cold

    x

    Reply

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