What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Baptising

    There are few more joyful things to do in this world than a baptism service. Yesterday I got to baptise someone called Theodore, which of course means Gift of God. He rather enjoyed proceedings and I’ve seldom held a child more keen to jump right into the font.

    People sometimes comment on how much babies seem to enjoy being baptised at St Mary’s. Some older folk sometimes say, “I thought they were supposed to cry….” to which I reply, “…and I think it is nicer if they don’t”.

    Sometimes people even come out with that old medieval nonsense that the cry of a baby at a baptism is the devil coming out. Here’s your theology starter for 10: the devil ain’t in there in the first place.

    If you want to make a baby cry at a baptism, here are the instructions:

    • hold them upside down
    • hold them so they can’t see anyone they know
    • use cold water
    • flick the water in their face with a large, hard shell
    • hold them as though you are frightened you are going to drop them.

    Otherwise,

    • hold them so they can see what’s going on – sitting on the side of the font is a good start
    • surround them with a sea of happy smiling faces
    • warm up the water
    • talk to them and mean what you say
    • keep parents in sight and free from anxiety themselves
    • lots of splashes
    ,

8 responses to “Remedy du jour”

  1. Stewart Avatar
    Stewart

    I have had Garlic Mash three times in the past week, and Garlic and Horseradish on a steak last night.

    I do not have a cold, so maybe it will work for you – or at least act as a preventative when am next at St Mary’s.

    Reply
  2. Fiona Avatar
    Fiona

    Kelvin, have you tried mulled wine?

    Sachets with the mulling spices in them shouldn’t be too hard to get hold of (try Peckhams). They look like little teabags. Add a dash of orange juice, maybe float a slice on top as well. : )

    It might not do much for your cold, but at least it’ll help you sleep, which is what you need right now — rest and fluids.

    Also worth trying is a Hot Toddy.

    Hope you feel better soon.

    ~Fiona.

    Reply
  3. Roddy Avatar
    Roddy

    Garlic’s not a bad idea. I’ve always found if I have a hot, garlic soaked, curry when I’ve got the lurgy I feel better.

    Reply
  4. asphodeline Avatar
    asphodeline

    What you need is a hot curry followed by a hot bath!

    This man cold of yours is lingering on a bit or are you “milking” this illness??!!

    Reply
  5. Andrew Avatar
    Andrew

    What is a man cold? Don’t women get them too?

    Reply
  6. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    It seems to be a widely held view amongst women that men make much of their sufferings when they get a cold.

    There is an urban dictionary definition here.

    There are some who say that the female equivalent of a mancold is the flu, but I could not possibly comment.

    Reply
  7. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    If Ms Asphodeline is fed up of hearing about my poor state of health, presumably it will be quite a while before we hear anything about her own on livejournal.

    Reply
  8. asphodeline Avatar
    asphodeline

    Haha, you know I’ll probably get the office lurgy now?!

    I hope you feel better soon. There’s nothing worse than a man with a cold

    x

    Reply

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