What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Baptising

    There are few more joyful things to do in this world than a baptism service. Yesterday I got to baptise someone called Theodore, which of course means Gift of God. He rather enjoyed proceedings and I’ve seldom held a child more keen to jump right into the font.

    People sometimes comment on how much babies seem to enjoy being baptised at St Mary’s. Some older folk sometimes say, “I thought they were supposed to cry….” to which I reply, “…and I think it is nicer if they don’t”.

    Sometimes people even come out with that old medieval nonsense that the cry of a baby at a baptism is the devil coming out. Here’s your theology starter for 10: the devil ain’t in there in the first place.

    If you want to make a baby cry at a baptism, here are the instructions:

    • hold them upside down
    • hold them so they can’t see anyone they know
    • use cold water
    • flick the water in their face with a large, hard shell
    • hold them as though you are frightened you are going to drop them.

    Otherwise,

    • hold them so they can see what’s going on – sitting on the side of the font is a good start
    • surround them with a sea of happy smiling faces
    • warm up the water
    • talk to them and mean what you say
    • keep parents in sight and free from anxiety themselves
    • lots of splashes
    ,

3 responses to “Thuribles of the week”

  1. Stewart Avatar
    Stewart

    The comments by JN1034 are very interesting especially considering the practice I observed in Hong Kong – see http://bonnyton.fotopic.net/p39681149.html

    Reply
  2. JN1034 Avatar
    JN1034

    V Rev Kelvin Holdsworth, dear sibling in Christ: Thank you for bestowing upon us your esteemed Theological Thurible Award, albeit we’re far from worthy. Though we’re overcome by surprise of your kindness and gratitude, we hope that which we caused you to ponder are good things, all to the glory of the Triune One and of God’s gods. Considering that censing is a multi-millennia-old religious convention, we’ve a deep appreciation of thuribles in our shared traditions, and for their practical mystical expressions in the daily lives of the faithful. Censing marks our homes and families, our weeks and years, our lives and hearts, our Church and God. Censing is a constant element of our histories imprinting a sensual memory of the life of the whole incarnate Church, both at home and in our parishes. When we smell it in our local parishes, our olfactory senses read the aroma as homemade; everything connects; nothing in our world seems detached from God and from us; we transcend spacetime and the universe is one at that fragrant ephemeral instant. And if we smell incense in another’s home, or at a different parish, it all comes together as an unified moment, and we are home wherever we are. We pray God continues to bless you with grace and mercy as you lead your community at St Mary’s Cathedral. Remember us in your prayers. Yours in the shared service of Christ our Lord, JN1034+++

    Reply
  3. Kirstin Avatar
    Kirstin

    Angels and thuribles, that reminds me, I have a rescue to plan. I wonder if my daughter left any camouflage paint!

    Reply

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