What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Tales of the City – February 2020

    On the way home from the opera I step into a shop to get out of the rain, and buy something to eat against the cold – a late-night post-operatic chittery-bite.

    In front of me are two young men dressed in much less than I am. They are the worse for wear and arguing.

    Drunk Young Man #1: Well we’ll ask someone else then.

    Drunk Young Man #2:     Yes! Someone neutral.

    They turn to me.

    DYM#1: Here man. Settle an arugment for us will you. Is coronavirus real or is it propoganda

    Self: I think it is real.

    DYM#2: Aye man. Told you. It *is* real. He said so. Here, I bet you do a very responsible job

    DYM#1:     Aye very responsible. What are you man?

    I hesitate a moment and consider how to answer.

    DYM#2: I bet he’s a Supply Chain Manager. Are you a Supply Chain Manager, man?

    I smile a smile that I hope will look like the smile of a cold wet Supply Chain Manager.

    DYM#2: I knew it.

    DYM#1: Hey, do you have a lighter?

    I shake my head.

    We are all forlorn that I do not have a lighter.

8 responses to “Remedy du jour”

  1. Stewart Avatar
    Stewart

    I have had Garlic Mash three times in the past week, and Garlic and Horseradish on a steak last night.

    I do not have a cold, so maybe it will work for you – or at least act as a preventative when am next at St Mary’s.

    Reply
  2. Fiona Avatar
    Fiona

    Kelvin, have you tried mulled wine?

    Sachets with the mulling spices in them shouldn’t be too hard to get hold of (try Peckhams). They look like little teabags. Add a dash of orange juice, maybe float a slice on top as well. : )

    It might not do much for your cold, but at least it’ll help you sleep, which is what you need right now — rest and fluids.

    Also worth trying is a Hot Toddy.

    Hope you feel better soon.

    ~Fiona.

    Reply
  3. Roddy Avatar
    Roddy

    Garlic’s not a bad idea. I’ve always found if I have a hot, garlic soaked, curry when I’ve got the lurgy I feel better.

    Reply
  4. asphodeline Avatar
    asphodeline

    What you need is a hot curry followed by a hot bath!

    This man cold of yours is lingering on a bit or are you “milking” this illness??!!

    Reply
  5. Andrew Avatar
    Andrew

    What is a man cold? Don’t women get them too?

    Reply
  6. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    It seems to be a widely held view amongst women that men make much of their sufferings when they get a cold.

    There is an urban dictionary definition here.

    There are some who say that the female equivalent of a mancold is the flu, but I could not possibly comment.

    Reply
  7. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    If Ms Asphodeline is fed up of hearing about my poor state of health, presumably it will be quite a while before we hear anything about her own on livejournal.

    Reply
  8. asphodeline Avatar
    asphodeline

    Haha, you know I’ll probably get the office lurgy now?!

    I hope you feel better soon. There’s nothing worse than a man with a cold

    x

    Reply

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