What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Society Against Sundays in the Month

    Why is there no church society for those of us who believe that Sundays-in-the-Month are one of the works of darkness that beset the church and tempt it into doom and decline?

    You know the kind of thing I mean – Matins on the first Sunday in the month and Eucharist on the rest. Or modern liturgy every Sunday except when there is a fifth Sunday in the month when it shall be the language of the Scottish Prayer Book 1928 1929. Or 10.30 am Sung Eucharist every week except the 2nd Sunday in the month when it is matins with the Methodists. Or First and Fourth Sundays in Auchendoggle, third Sunday in Auchendrizzle and a united service on the fourth Sunday in the month – see the church porch notice for details.

    I’d be interested in any research in this area. Is it the case that there is a statistical correlation between decline and those practising the doctrine of Sundays in the Month?

    Isn’t every notice which includes an intimation about the Sunday in the Month speaking to the world of a congregation either divided by compromise or prepared to announce its decline to the world?

    Why do we never talk about this?

7 responses to “Solstice”

  1. Kimberly Avatar
    Kimberly

    Blue woad, Kelvin.

    (perhaps with a dash of white wine vinegar?)

    And it is not the virgin per se that is sacrificed.

    Reply
  2. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    Ah, now I see what he really wanted the vinegar for.

    Keep those suggestions coming.

    Reply
  3. chris Avatar
    chris

    Naked, with sprigs of bog myrtle ( to keep away the midges). We did same in Edinburgh Botanics – lovely calm evening, affronted heron (too many people at bedtime) – and nae midges!

    Reply
  4. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    Chris, the image of you naked in the Edinburgh Bots complete with affronted heron will stay with me for quite a while. Glad you enjoyed it, but no idea how you got away with it.

    Reply
  5. asphodeline Avatar
    asphodeline

    I love Solstice. Broomstick, wand and something warming to drink!! Naked isn’t so good when there are midges about of course 🙂

    Reply
  6. chris Avatar
    chris

    I realised what I’d said just after hitting ‘post’ – but glad it went through. We aim to amuse …

    Reply
  7. Andrew Avatar
    Andrew

    I think that Canon 17b in the Cof E requires Deans to go to Stonehenge on 2ist June. Having fought a running battle with the local constabulary, they then recite the ‘Quinque Vult’ and there is a retiring collection for the Bishop of Salisbury. Then all face west and exchange the Peace with hippies etc before wishing them well on their journey to Glastonbury for the real liturgy of the year.
    Kelvin , your penance in the rain and the presentation of wine-vinegar to the stranger means that the Summer Solstice will now be commemorated as St Kelvins’ Day – assuming the Faith and Order Board approve.

    Reply

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