What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Tales of the City – February 2020

    On the way home from the opera I step into a shop to get out of the rain, and buy something to eat against the cold – a late-night post-operatic chittery-bite.

    In front of me are two young men dressed in much less than I am. They are the worse for wear and arguing.

    Drunk Young Man #1: Well we’ll ask someone else then.

    Drunk Young Man #2:     Yes! Someone neutral.

    They turn to me.

    DYM#1: Here man. Settle an arugment for us will you. Is coronavirus real or is it propoganda

    Self: I think it is real.

    DYM#2: Aye man. Told you. It *is* real. He said so. Here, I bet you do a very responsible job

    DYM#1:     Aye very responsible. What are you man?

    I hesitate a moment and consider how to answer.

    DYM#2: I bet he’s a Supply Chain Manager. Are you a Supply Chain Manager, man?

    I smile a smile that I hope will look like the smile of a cold wet Supply Chain Manager.

    DYM#2: I knew it.

    DYM#1: Hey, do you have a lighter?

    I shake my head.

    We are all forlorn that I do not have a lighter.

7 responses to “Solstice”

  1. Kimberly Avatar
    Kimberly

    Blue woad, Kelvin.

    (perhaps with a dash of white wine vinegar?)

    And it is not the virgin per se that is sacrificed.

    Reply
  2. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    Ah, now I see what he really wanted the vinegar for.

    Keep those suggestions coming.

    Reply
  3. chris Avatar
    chris

    Naked, with sprigs of bog myrtle ( to keep away the midges). We did same in Edinburgh Botanics – lovely calm evening, affronted heron (too many people at bedtime) – and nae midges!

    Reply
  4. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    Chris, the image of you naked in the Edinburgh Bots complete with affronted heron will stay with me for quite a while. Glad you enjoyed it, but no idea how you got away with it.

    Reply
  5. asphodeline Avatar
    asphodeline

    I love Solstice. Broomstick, wand and something warming to drink!! Naked isn’t so good when there are midges about of course 🙂

    Reply
  6. chris Avatar
    chris

    I realised what I’d said just after hitting ‘post’ – but glad it went through. We aim to amuse …

    Reply
  7. Andrew Avatar
    Andrew

    I think that Canon 17b in the Cof E requires Deans to go to Stonehenge on 2ist June. Having fought a running battle with the local constabulary, they then recite the ‘Quinque Vult’ and there is a retiring collection for the Bishop of Salisbury. Then all face west and exchange the Peace with hippies etc before wishing them well on their journey to Glastonbury for the real liturgy of the year.
    Kelvin , your penance in the rain and the presentation of wine-vinegar to the stranger means that the Summer Solstice will now be commemorated as St Kelvins’ Day – assuming the Faith and Order Board approve.

    Reply

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