What is in Kelvin's Head?

Jesus – the Angry Religious Man

09/03/2015

Here’s what I said in the pulpit yesterday for Lent 3

Sermon preached by Kelvin Holdsworth on 8 March 2015 from St Mary's Cathedral, Glasgow on Vimeo.

The door opened. That door at the back, with its annoying squeak. And I looked up and immediately I was afraid.

I saw someone come in and knew that I needed to do something and do it quickly.

I checked the clock and took off my headphones.

Either I needed to shout at everyone to evacuate the building or I had to try to do something myself.

I looked around and decided to walk forward and try to distract him and see what happened.

We were about to do a Radio Broadcast. A live radio broadcast and the clock was, well, not ticking because things like that need to be silent when we are recording, but the clock was moving inexorably towards 8.10 and the moment when the red light would go on and I would say, “Good morning and welcome to St Mary’s Cathedral in the City of Glasgow, a city that is still in shock.”

It was the day after the terrorist attack at Glasgow airport. Transport systems were in a mess. The airport was completely locked down and roads were closed all over the place. People couldn’t fly into Scotland. There was transport chaos and the police still didn’t know how many other people were at large who intended harm.

And that door right there opened right before an advertised liver broadcast and someone unexpected came in. Someone whom I didn’t know.

And in that instant I saw a stereotype walk into the cathedral. He was young and rather swarthy looking. I later discovered that he was indeed just back from Libya and he looked like it.

A thin white scarf around him. Khaki camouflage clothes. And a backpack.

It was the backpack that worried me most as I walked towards him.

Hello I said, welcome to St Mary’s.

These are the words that I use when I think someone is about to blow me and the cathedral up.

Hello, welcome to St Mary’s.

Hello, he said.

There was a pause as I looked him up and down and he did the same to me.

Do you mind telling me, I asked – do you mind telling me what’s in the backpack. (more…)

cleansing of the temple, Jesus in the temple, Lent 3, Sermon, turning over the tables, Year B

9 responses to “SynodBlogging – 10 Mission and Ministry”

vicky

08/06/2007

Reading this makes for light relief at work. Experiencing it, I suspect, might be like having one’s teeth pulled without anaesthesia.

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Shelley

08/06/2007

I am snugly in my wee office meant to be writing a sermon and thought instead to catch up with the goings on accross the country. I discovered rightly that yours truly would keep me up to date in unique style, so, many thanks for the blogs.

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GadgetVicar

08/06/2007

You’ve done a fantastic job, K. I’ve particularly enjoyed your commentary! I can see you fulfilling the same role at Synod that Terry Wogan does at Eurovision. Well done and thank you!

I really do think that we need to find somewhere that offers a wireless connection for next year. It’s essential in this day and age that the rest of the church gets good communication on what’s happening at Synod, and not just the potted version that comes out in minutes or ‘Inspires’.

And you? A ‘fairy’? I’m shocked – I had no idea!

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David Campbell

08/06/2007

Just to totally echo Fr GadgetVicar’s praise Kelvin – a fantastic series of wee reports for those of us not fortunate (?) enough to be there this year. We definitely need more of this kind of thing.

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Miriam

09/06/2007

Have you tried playing the “add the word to the end of the sentence” game yet? This is something which works very well in lectures.

Pass a piece of paper along the row, each person adds a word to the end of the sentence. It provides intermittent bouts of light relief in dificult situations without compromising your ability to pay attention for the majority of the time. Also. when played discreetly it isn’t obvious to whoever is speaking at the time therefore not causing any offence.

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Elizabeth

11/06/2007

So, what is the difference between something passing unanimously or passing nem con?

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Kimberly

11/06/2007

The difference is whose in the chair.

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kelvin

11/06/2007

If something is passed nem con, it means that there is no objection from anyone. (There may be abstentions). If it is passed unanimously, then it means that everyone present votes in favour.

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David

13/01/2008

In refrence to having ones teeth being pulled out, I fear I have to agree. I spend most of that week there soing the sound and AV stuff for synod and the OSCR seminar preceeding it. For a 16 year old it is not a exciting experiance. But I did find out one thing, there is something, there is something more boring then diosician synod.

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