• 10 Thoughts on the Blessing of Asparagus

    It seems that Worcester Cathedral recently had a service for the blessing of asparagus.

    As this is a matter that might be seen to have consequences for the wider Anglican Communion, I thought I’d offer a few thoughts.

    1. There can be no justification for blessing asparagus as asparagus is never mentioned positively in the bible. There is simply no biblical case for blessing asparagus. None at all. If God had wanted asparagus to be blessed, then surely Jesus would have blessed asparagus at the last supper. (1 Corinthians 15:3)
    2. In fact, we know that asparagus should not be blessed because Genesis says so. “In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, [asparagus] and Abel for his part brought of the firstlings of his flock, their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard.”  (Genesis 4: 3-4). You can’t pick and choose what the bible says. God’s holy word is clear and lasts forever.
    3. The blessing of asparagus promotes and validates the asparagus lifestyle. How will the church as a whole be able to maintain moral standards in one part of the world if asparagus is blessed in another? (Matthew 5:48)
    4. If we start blessing asparagus then it automatically follows that people will demand blessings for other kinds of vegetables. Although one might not personally object to the blessing of asparagus, one must take into account where this might lead. God will not be faithful to those who bless asparagus. (Amos 5:14)
    5. It would be entirely acceptable to offer a Thanksgiving for the Picking of Asparagus provided there are no rings used to hold the asparagus and any blessing must be upon the asparagus pickers and not the asparagus itself. (Ezekiel 44:30). The blessing of asparagus itself is sinful.
    6. The Archbishops have issued the following statement: “No asparagus is a problem, or an issue. Asparagus is made in the image of God. All of the asparagus, without exception, is loved and called in Christ. There are no ‘problems’, there is simply asparagus. (Romans 8:28) However, in order to maintain the unity of the church, it remains the case that asparagus blessings fall outside of that which is permitted for clergy of the Church of England following the last agreed Lambeth Conference statement on the matter. Clergy should continue to explore the maximum freedom possible when encountering asparagus whilst remaining within current guidelines. (Philippians 4:5)
    7. It remains the case that we all strive towards good disagreement (Philippians 4:2) about asparagus blessings whilst forbidding entirely the actual blessing of asparagus
    8. You cannot serve God and asparagus. The love of asparagus is the root of all evil. Do not associate with other eaters of asparagus. (1 Corinthians 15:33)
    9. There is an additional argument against the blessing of asparagus which stems from tradition. There should be no blessings of asparagus until the major churches who have the apostolic succession make an agreed statement on asparagus. This might be achieved in the form of an Ecumenical Asparagus Council of the Church however there remains some disagreement about who has the authority to call such a Council. (1 Corinthians 11:2)
    10. Always remember that God loves asparagus and that there have been some fine and courageous examples of self-giving asparagus throughout history. Many people are able to testify that some of their best friends have even eaten [unblessed] asparagus. So long as the church exercises gracious restraint in blessing asparagus, it will be possible for people to hear about the unique gifts that asparagus brings to the world. It may even be that God has a purpose for asparagus. (Exodus 9:16)

    the offering of the asparagus

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8 responses to “Easter Sermon 2016”

  1. Julia Avatar
    Julia

    God’s here with us all the time. If he rises or not, He’s always with us anyway.

    1. Kelvin Avatar

      Thanks David – edited now. I don’t know how that happened.

  2. Meg Rosenfeld Avatar
    Meg Rosenfeld

    Cheer up. At least you don’t have to walk all the way to Emmaeus this afternoon and then run all the way back to Jerusalem. Wonder and amazement can be pretty exhausting, but they’re well worth the stress.

    The Lord is risen! Alleluia!

  3. Keith Barber Avatar
    Keith Barber

    I can only see as far as the beginning of the reference to Brussels… hope the Border hasn’t been closed to Kelvin’s thoughts!

    1. Kelvin Avatar

      Should be sorted now.

      1. Keith Barber Avatar
        Keith Barber

        Thank you… inspiring as always.

  4. Alex Staton Avatar
    Alex Staton

    Hi Kelvin, thanks for posting this – particularly since I hadn’t the stamina for the 10.30 service after the Vigil. I could blame ‘that Graeme’ as my mother calls my partner in reluctant recognition he’s here to stay 😂. You’ll be knackered. I hope you managed to relax this week without needing to console yourself with too many pickled eggs.

    Last week certainly saw more than its fair share of tragedy. Unfortunately we’ve become somewhat used to terrorist attacks. I think many in both the Muslim and wider community found Mr Shah’s murder in particular absolutely devastating. It’s difficult to see how to make sense of it or to see how the message of Easter speaks to such wickedness and tragedy. I found the points you made at the end of your sermon encouraging. Christ is risen in the lives of those that bring to love of Christ where hatred is present, challenging the prejudice, working for interfaith initiatives, supporting the marginalised.

    I was interested in your earlier comments and the turn of phrase you use. I think I know what you’re getting and I uderstand the sentiment behind the words it is easy to believe Christ will never rise from the dead. Im sure that was the experience of the disciples on that first Good Friday. Still, could you say a little more about why you use the future tense throughout the first part of your sermon.

    Best

    Alex

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