What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Baptising

    There are few more joyful things to do in this world than a baptism service. Yesterday I got to baptise someone called Theodore, which of course means Gift of God. He rather enjoyed proceedings and I’ve seldom held a child more keen to jump right into the font.

    People sometimes comment on how much babies seem to enjoy being baptised at St Mary’s. Some older folk sometimes say, “I thought they were supposed to cry….” to which I reply, “…and I think it is nicer if they don’t”.

    Sometimes people even come out with that old medieval nonsense that the cry of a baby at a baptism is the devil coming out. Here’s your theology starter for 10: the devil ain’t in there in the first place.

    If you want to make a baby cry at a baptism, here are the instructions:

    • hold them upside down
    • hold them so they can’t see anyone they know
    • use cold water
    • flick the water in their face with a large, hard shell
    • hold them as though you are frightened you are going to drop them.

    Otherwise,

    • hold them so they can see what’s going on – sitting on the side of the font is a good start
    • surround them with a sea of happy smiling faces
    • warm up the water
    • talk to them and mean what you say
    • keep parents in sight and free from anxiety themselves
    • lots of splashes
    ,

3 responses to “Shelly Marsh”

  1. liturgybuff Avatar
    liturgybuff

    And the lights!! They look like they fell off the back of a casino.

    Reply
  2. Gary Avatar
    Gary

    I can think of another priest on whom satin high heels look magnificent. But his identity shall remain a secret for now!

    Reply
  3. Kenny Macaulay Avatar
    Kenny Macaulay

    Perhaps not the best week for a comment like that Lay Clerk, although I think I know who you mean, and a couple of others too!

    I was in the next door parish, St Matthew’s Possilpark when St James was being built. As I remember it, there was quite a bit of pressure from The Diocese to be fairly traditional. Remember, many didn’t want to lose their Springburn roots, or traditions. Pressure too to put in stained glass from St Andrew’s by the Green. I remember at the time thinking that I would kill for a building like it, Bernie Inn or not! My wee church had just been condemned by the same Diocesan Architect/Surveyor, who was also advising on Bishopbriggs. St Matthews is still going strong btw!

    Reply

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