What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Liturgical news

    Here is the liturgical news from St Mary’s Cathedral, Glasgow yesterday.

    • The Provost announced during morning service that the church is responsible for far too much condemnation in the world and far too few blessings. He and the Vice Provost then went on to offer the ancient Blessing of the Throats traditionally performed by holding candles to the throats of the faithful on St Blaise’s Day. About 45 members of the congregation had their throats blessed.
    • There have been no outbreaks of any diseases of the throat since yesterday.
    • The Provost turned into a flailing jellyfish at two points during yesterday’s mass. The first was the result of him seeing the gospel procession going past him and on down the aisle before he had woken up to the fact that he was the deacon and due to read the gospel. The second was when he tried to retrieve and consume a fallen host during communion. This resulted in a manoeuvre that is known as being Slain in the Spirit amongst low church people and known as falling Amice over Tippet by high church people.
    • The Provost was dismayed at the end of the mass to have it pointed out to him that the mass may not have been valid as he was wearing his stole in the manner of a priest rather than in the manner of a deacon.
    • The Provost then used the fact that his stole was the wrong way round to justify the fact that he had forgotten to follow the gospel procession earlier in the service.
    • Black shoes were worn throughout.

4 responses to “D.I.V.O.R.C.E.”

  1. David Kenvyn Avatar
    David Kenvyn

    I am a little worried about this concept of “African Marriage”. It seems to assume that Africa as a continent is culturally homogenous. This is not something that we would ever say about Europe or Asia, and it is simply not true. Morocco has very little cultural similarity to Mozambique. In South Africa, Xhosa-speaking men are circumcised at about 16 years old. Zulu-speaking men are not circumcised. They live in neighbouring provinces and inter-mingle in the cities. I think we have to be very careful when we describe practices that are common in Nigeria or Tanzania or Namibia as African, as they may not apply across the whole continent. It would be like calling bullfighting or reindeer racing European cultural norms, when we know that they are specific to particular countries.

    Reply
  2. Seph Avatar
    Seph

    I think what Christians and others need to bear in mind is that it is possible to be accepting of divorce as a fact of life while still valuing commitment and regarding marriage as ideally being a lifelong covenant. In truth, if a couple is considering divorce then there is already brokenness (or sin—although in this context the word has some uncomfortable connotations) in their relationship, and trying to maintain it purely because the Church (or, heaven forfend, God) Says No doesn’t seem to me to be in any way a holy or virtuous thing to do.

    ‘D.I.V.O.R.C.E.’ is a lot less effective an obfuscation in writing than when Dolly sang it.

    Reply
  3. David Kenvyn Avatar
    David Kenvyn

    Jacob Zuma has five wives, Desmond Tutu has one wife, Nelson Mandela had three wives and divorced two of them. What does this tell us about the concept of “African Marriage”?

    Reply
    1. Kelvin Holdsworth Avatar
      Kelvin Holdsworth

      I was quoting an African priest. And I agree with you.

      Reply

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