What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • How to sleep on the sleeper

    Did I mention that I came back from London on the sleeper? It remains my favourite way of travelling back from south to north as you can catch it after a night at the theatre. (In this case Democracy at the Old Vic). Generally I prefer to fly down and sleeper back.

    Here are my Caledonian Sleeper tips….

    • Don’t believe the time that they advertise as when the sleeper will be ready for boarding. It is often later than that.
    • Leaving a big city at midnight by train is inherently romantic.
    • Being in Euston at 11.30 pm is inherently unromantic.
    • For excitement, intrigue, value for money and frisson book a bargain berth and share with Who Knows Who.
    • If sharing with an unknown companion who has not arrived when the train leaves, don’t presume anything. He could show up anytime, anywhere.
    • For a better night’s sleep pay more and get a cabin to yourself.
    • For no sleep at all, use the reclining seats. You will however, learn much about humanity.
    • Don’t worry about sleeping – tell yourself that all you have to do is doze and you’ll probably fall asleep anyway.
    • The more you pay, the better the breakfast in bed.
    • Murmur in the steward’s ear as you get on that you’d prefer your breakfast to be served after everyone else if possible
    • Beware of muddling the buttons that open the toilet compartment with the adjacent buttons which open the disabled cabin next door. (Especially at 4 am).
    • Flipflops.
    • Travelling North to South on certain tickets give you access to a lounge at Euston with free showers. No such luck coming the other way.
    • If turfed off the sleeper at 7 am and going to work at 9 am, don’t go home and go to sleep. Go swimming instead.
    • You can charge phones in the lounge car but not in your cabin.
    • That little hook by your head is for putting your watch on, but don’t forget it in the morning.
    • Take extra water.
    • The first stop is Carlisle. The stop with all the shunting is Carstairs.
    • Don’t go for a wander before Carstairs or your cabin might go to Glasgow whilst you go to Edinburgh.
    • You might arrive going a different direction to the one you set off in. Don’t be confused, they’ve not turned you round and sent you back to London after all.

    Any tips I missed?


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4 responses to “Church Times Adverts”

  1. Avatar
    Anonymous

    Re: Church Times Adverts
    Isn’t that what most of us are working for? A home with a view, whether it be in this life or the next. If I can get that, I’ll consider myself fortunate indeed! 🙂

    Reply
  2. Avatar
    Anonymous

    Re: Church Times Adverts
    No Annie, I don’t agree! I think that what Kelvin is getting at is tht these positions are exploiting elderly clergy who have little income and who have had no chance to buy a property because of church rules.

    A good view is no recompense in retirement if you havnt got a proper income and have to resort to this kind of job to make ends meet and keep a roof over your head.

    These “house for duty” positions are a way of getting ministry on the cheap. Clergy poverty in old age is likely to get even worse in coming years.

    Reply
  3. Avatar
    Anonymous

    Re: Church Times Adverts
    I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t offend anyone. I know what Kelvin was getting at and it is wrong for the church to exploit anyone. I believe that there are lots of people who are doing God’s work who are not all employed by the church, but are none the less in jobs that are “ministering” to others and that these jobs are often ones which give little monetary compensation. However simplistic it might sound, I happen to believe that God does provide for his children, even down to food, clothing, and shelter. Too often we don’t believe that what He provides is good enough when in reality it is always the best – meaning it is always the best for us, just what we need to become closer to Him. I don’t say any of this lightly. It’s something I’ve learned from experience and something I’m continuing to learn. I’m not sure I’m expressing my thoughts very coherently. George MacDonald says it much better in his book “What’s Mine’s Mine”. I didn’t mean to offend, criticize, chatise or preach. I only wanted to encourage. Kelvin appears to have a God given passion for activism and fighting for others. I admire that! I only wanted to encourage him with a reminder that God doesn’t forget us or our needs and wants. He uses them to draw us nearer to him. Also, when people and their institutions, religious and political, let us down – He never will.

    Reply
  4. Avatar
    Anonymous

    Re: Church Times Adverts
    Peace be with you!

    Simon – stop shouting at people.

    Reply

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