What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • The Cure

    Over the past few weeks, I’ve not been terribly well. Bronchitis was the doctor’s diagnosis and it has gone on and on.

    I thought it might be helpful to share the advice that I’ve been given in order to get better. After all, it could happen to you.

    • paracetamol
    • lemsip
    • going to the doctor
    • cough medicine
    • reflexology
    • vicks vapour rub
    • steroid inhaler
    • steaming
    • aromatherapy
    • eating oranges
    • look after yourself
    • steam room at the Arlington baths
    • don’t use the steam room at the Arlington baths
    • go out in the fresh air
    • stay in
    • decongestant
    • garlic
    • orange juice
    • vitamin C tablets
    • multivitamins
    • menthol crystals
    • staying under the duvet
    • making sure you don’t get too hot
    • opening the windows
    • going to Millport for three months
    • make sure you’re getting proper food
    • look after yourself
    • watch the television
    • don’t just watch the television
    • lots of vegetables
    • the triduum
    • incense
    • tea-tree oil
    • fasting
    • antibiotics
    • more antibiotics
    • sleep
    • rest
    • jakeman’s throat sweets
    • fisherman’s friends
    • hot tea
    • honey in your tea
    • manuka honey
    • lots of hot drinks
    • let it take its course
    • steamy showers
    • a bit of sun
    • go to the doctor again
    • you must go to the doctor again
    • stay off work
    • just take another week being kind to yourself
    • hot toddies
    • whisky
    • chocolate

    I presume, as I am still sneezing and coughing that I’ve missed something. No doubt someone will helpfully give me some further advice.

     

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2 responses to “10 Things I learned from being a General Election Candidate”

  1. Father David Avatar
    Father David

    Your second point about people knowing almost nothing about the democratic process was demonstrated admirably in a recent television programme called “Educating Joey Essex”. The young man in question who came to fame via TOWIE interviewed three leaders of Political Parties – Messrs Clegg, Miliband and Farage (Mr. Cameron declined to be interviewed). By the end of the programme Joey had learned that Parliament was an institution rather than a person.
    May I add an eleventh point to your list of ten?
    In American Presidential elections it is often said that the candidate with the most hair usually wins (that bodes well for Hillary Clinton). I will stick my head above the parapet and say that the leader who wears a tie (i.e. Looking most Statesman like) will become Prime Minister. Throughout the campaign Mr. Miliband has consistently been seen wearing a tie and a smart suit while Mr. Cameron has been seen wearing an open neck shirt with rolled up sleeves and Mr. Clegg similarly attired with open neck shirt and a casual blue jumper. I therefore foresee that Ed Miliband will gain the keys to Number 10 following tomorrow’s General Election. Despite protestations to the contrary he will probably do so with the assistance of the admirable and formidable Nicola Sturgeon who is also a model of sartorial elegance. however my theory is at its weakest when looking at the way the leader of Ukip is also similarly smartly attired but thankfully and mercifully Nigel hadn’t a hope in hell of winning! Mind what does it say of our electoral system is the SNP get 5% of the vote and are rewarded with 50 seats and Ukip get 10% of the vote and only win 2 seats? Having said that, I’m still a first past the post man.

    Reply
    1. Tim Avatar
      Tim

      I’m still a PR chap but that scenario is a great argument in favour of FPTP 😉

      Reply

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