• Rainbow Laces

    Congratulations to Stonewall for their Rainbow Laces campaign – trying to persuade the various football organisations to make a gesture to indicate that they are supportive of their gay players. For such organisations, it is a gesture that won’t cost them much.

    I’m pretty sure that for gay players themselves, all closeted at the moment, there will be a range of internal reactions. For some, there will be a huge sense that this is supportive. For others, I’m guessing that this may actually be personally be unwelcome because it shines a light too close to their own lives. For pro players must wonder whether if they come out they will lose sponsorship, support and opportunity. There is no legal protection to help you other than not being sacked from your team.

    Of course, the chances are, that any player in such circumstances would do well. They would receive overwhelming support from anyone in front of a microphone. But what would it be like on the terraces?

    I have enormous sympathy for what must go on in the mind of the player wondering whether to come out. It isn’t that different from my own world in the church.

    I heard recently of a prominent member of the clergy choosing to talk about being gay for the first time in public recently at a well known Christian Arts festival. It is a big deal. For someone in that position they really can fear that jobs that they might have enjoyed doing would suddenly be blocked for them. There is no legal protection for such a person at all. They can even be sacked from the team.

    In the football world there are said to be no professional football players who have come out. In the church it isn’t much better. No bishops have done so and even at the level of people running cathedrals in the UK, I think there are only two of us who are out (and one of us was initially outed in the press). Clearly, obviously, there are other people who are gay who do my job.

    I’m not suggesting a rainbow cassock campaign nor even rainbow laces in the sanctuary – my views on footwear are clear. However, the time in drawing near when we ought to be calling for some small uncostly gestures from those in the church who are straight and who are in positions of power and influence.

    I remember a number of years ago Bishop Idris making a supportive statement about his gay clergy during a Synod address. It meant a huge amount to a small number of people.

    Church leaders need to think about how to make those gestures. For all Archbishop Justin Welby seems to have struck a welcome new tone recently, much like the pope, there is no change in policy.

    I’d like to hear the likes of Justin Welby speaking positively about the gay clergy he has known and making it clear that senior gay clergy who do chose to come out will be supported and nourished and cherished. The fact that such talk is absent won’t strike many people. It strikes me every day.

    It is the lack of such things which makes this area of the churches’ work so troubled. Those with some power and influence have the means to make a big difference by doing small things.

    Rainbow laces won’t do the trick in the church but a few rainbow words would go a long way.

20 responses to “Becoming a Welcoming Cathedral”

  1. Meg Rosenfeld Avatar
    Meg Rosenfeld

    My husband and I became members of All Saints Parish, San Francisco not long after our first experience attending Sunday Mass in that charming little church in the notorious Haight-Ashbury district. At that time we’d been members for over 20 years of a parish in another diocese, but were beginning to stay in San Francisco on weekends. What inspired us to join All Saints as members was the receipt of a simple hand-written letter from the rector some two or three days later, saying it had been a pleasure to have us there and hoping we would come again. Neither of us had ever had such an experience in any church we’d attended. We were absolutely amazed (in a positive way!) and made up our minds then and there that we would, indeed, go back. Mind you, we were also welcomed by the official greeters, urged to come to coffee hour, and approached at coffee hour with friendly overtures from the regulars–which is not always the case in Episcopal churches, at least in California. I guess it was just the right balance between friendliness and respect for one’s privacy. In any event, we are still at All Saints, almost 20 years later, up to our ears in choir, committees, and activities. To me, it was the letter from the rector which did the trick. He (an introvert like myself) wasn’t too busy to acknowledge new people, and in a way which was totally unthreatening.

    1. Kelvin Avatar

      Thanks Meg – that’s a great story.

  2. Andrew Connor Avatar

    I go to a church which gets the coffee just right. But I don’t feel welcome.
    I go to a church which gets the welcome team just right. But I don’t feel welcome.
    I go to a church which denies that I was born gay and have chosen to love my same see partner whom I am not allowed to celebrate with. You see? I don’t feel welcome.
    The homilies never include such exclusion. Never did they mention my being part of the Us of the parish though.
    We have regular celebrations of love but not mine.
    Many speak of going home to love one another and others exhort us to reach out and love the stranger. But I am in the midst of you and m only loves if I deny my own self.
    There is indeed much still to do.
    Welcome in our Church? Discuss.

    1. Kelvin Avatar

      I know Andrew. I know it all too well. And I know that the ease with which these loves can be spoken of here in St Mary’s in pulpit and pew is tragically remarkable in its rarity.

  3. Father Ron Smith Avatar

    Bravo, Kelvin. I always feel that we in the Church are standing in the place of Christ – who welcomes all. Agape, Fr. Ron, ACANZP

  4. Dharma Nicodemus Cuthbert Avatar

    Strangely enough about 1 hour before you posted this, I had been in a meeting in which one of the subjects discussed was getting more people to come to the church. The comments were full of “what can we do” I know that unless someone is willing to do outreach work nothing changes. I feel that as the church, St James the great, in Dingwall, will be having an open day when the refurbishment is complete, an ideal opportunity to raise the profile of the church.
    I have taken on board the difficulties of being welcoming and at the same time not being separate, as you put it us and them. I have had experience of being both, part of a group and the new face

  5. Janet Koch Avatar
    Janet Koch

    conscientize?

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