What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Exodus or Exodon’t

    There was a possibly extraordinary shift in the ecclesiastical tectonic plates overnight. Exodus International is going out of business and its leader has apologised for the harm it has done.

    Exodus International was one of the leading groups which claimed that it was possible to re-orientate gay people – ie turn them straight. It is, or perhaps now, was, the leading light of the religious “ex-gay” movement. I never encountered the organisation directly but I did meet people who did and have heard some horrible stories of people being pyschologically damaged by that kind of thing. To put it bluntly, some people killed themselves because of the policies promoted by organisations like Exodus.

    The President of the organisation has now issued an apology which on first sight appears to be quite far reaching.

    I am sorry for the pain and hurt that many of you have experienced. I am sorry some of you spent years working through the shame and guilt when your attractions didn’t change. I am sorry we promoted sexual orientation change efforts and reparative theories about sexual orientation that stigmatized parents.

    I am sorry I didn’t stand up to people publicly ‘on my side’ who called you names like sodomite—or worse. I am sorry that I, knowing some of you so well, failed to share publicly that the gay and lesbian people I know were every bit as capable of being amazing parents as the straight people that I know. I am sorry that when I celebrated a person coming to Christ and surrendering their sexuality to Him, I callously celebrated the end of relationships that broke your heart. I am sorry I have communicated that you and your families are less than me and mine.

    Well it is hard not to welcome that.

    So, Exodus International is going out of business? All is well?

    Well, we’ll see. Part of Alan Chambers’s statement which is not being picked up by everyone reporting this is the following:

    I cannot apologize for my deeply held biblical beliefs about the boundaries I see in scripture surrounding sex, but I will exercise my beliefs with great care and respect for those who do not share them.  I cannot apologize for my beliefs about marriage. But I do not have any desire to fight you on your beliefs or the rights that you seek. My beliefs about these things will never again interfere with God’s command to love my neighbor as I love myself.   

    Hmm, well that does sound like Archbishop Sentamu this week saying that the church should be nicer to gay people during a speech in which he was trying to restrict and limit gay people’s human rights.

    Moving forward, we will serve in our pluralistic culture by hosting thoughtful and safe conversations about gender and sexuality, while partnering with others to reduce fear, inspire hope, and cultivate human flourishing.

    And indeed they’ve started to set up a new “ministry” called Reduce Fear. But what’s that all about. Doesn’t sound like working for justice to me. Sounds like Exodus has stopped being an anti-gay brigade, which is to be applauded but is turning itself into a Celibacy Brigade instead. (Which is not).

    Ah well, by their fruits we shall know them, as St Paul so rightly suggested.

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20 responses to “Becoming a Welcoming Cathedral”

  1. Meg Rosenfeld Avatar
    Meg Rosenfeld

    My husband and I became members of All Saints Parish, San Francisco not long after our first experience attending Sunday Mass in that charming little church in the notorious Haight-Ashbury district. At that time we’d been members for over 20 years of a parish in another diocese, but were beginning to stay in San Francisco on weekends. What inspired us to join All Saints as members was the receipt of a simple hand-written letter from the rector some two or three days later, saying it had been a pleasure to have us there and hoping we would come again. Neither of us had ever had such an experience in any church we’d attended. We were absolutely amazed (in a positive way!) and made up our minds then and there that we would, indeed, go back. Mind you, we were also welcomed by the official greeters, urged to come to coffee hour, and approached at coffee hour with friendly overtures from the regulars–which is not always the case in Episcopal churches, at least in California. I guess it was just the right balance between friendliness and respect for one’s privacy. In any event, we are still at All Saints, almost 20 years later, up to our ears in choir, committees, and activities. To me, it was the letter from the rector which did the trick. He (an introvert like myself) wasn’t too busy to acknowledge new people, and in a way which was totally unthreatening.

    Reply
    1. Kelvin Avatar
      Kelvin

      Thanks Meg – that’s a great story.

      Reply
  2. Andrew Connor Avatar
    Andrew Connor

    I go to a church which gets the coffee just right. But I don’t feel welcome.
    I go to a church which gets the welcome team just right. But I don’t feel welcome.
    I go to a church which denies that I was born gay and have chosen to love my same see partner whom I am not allowed to celebrate with. You see? I don’t feel welcome.
    The homilies never include such exclusion. Never did they mention my being part of the Us of the parish though.
    We have regular celebrations of love but not mine.
    Many speak of going home to love one another and others exhort us to reach out and love the stranger. But I am in the midst of you and m only loves if I deny my own self.
    There is indeed much still to do.
    Welcome in our Church? Discuss.

    Reply
    1. Kelvin Avatar
      Kelvin

      I know Andrew. I know it all too well. And I know that the ease with which these loves can be spoken of here in St Mary’s in pulpit and pew is tragically remarkable in its rarity.

      Reply
  3. Father Ron Smith Avatar
    Father Ron Smith

    Bravo, Kelvin. I always feel that we in the Church are standing in the place of Christ – who welcomes all. Agape, Fr. Ron, ACANZP

    Reply
  4. Dharma Nicodemus Cuthbert Avatar
    Dharma Nicodemus Cuthbert

    Strangely enough about 1 hour before you posted this, I had been in a meeting in which one of the subjects discussed was getting more people to come to the church. The comments were full of “what can we do” I know that unless someone is willing to do outreach work nothing changes. I feel that as the church, St James the great, in Dingwall, will be having an open day when the refurbishment is complete, an ideal opportunity to raise the profile of the church.
    I have taken on board the difficulties of being welcoming and at the same time not being separate, as you put it us and them. I have had experience of being both, part of a group and the new face

    Reply
  5. Janet Koch Avatar
    Janet Koch

    conscientize?

    Reply

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