What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Liturgical news

    Here is the liturgical news from St Mary’s Cathedral, Glasgow yesterday.

    • The Provost announced during morning service that the church is responsible for far too much condemnation in the world and far too few blessings. He and the Vice Provost then went on to offer the ancient Blessing of the Throats traditionally performed by holding candles to the throats of the faithful on St Blaise’s Day. About 45 members of the congregation had their throats blessed.
    • There have been no outbreaks of any diseases of the throat since yesterday.
    • The Provost turned into a flailing jellyfish at two points during yesterday’s mass. The first was the result of him seeing the gospel procession going past him and on down the aisle before he had woken up to the fact that he was the deacon and due to read the gospel. The second was when he tried to retrieve and consume a fallen host during communion. This resulted in a manoeuvre that is known as being Slain in the Spirit amongst low church people and known as falling Amice over Tippet by high church people.
    • The Provost was dismayed at the end of the mass to have it pointed out to him that the mass may not have been valid as he was wearing his stole in the manner of a priest rather than in the manner of a deacon.
    • The Provost then used the fact that his stole was the wrong way round to justify the fact that he had forgotten to follow the gospel procession earlier in the service.
    • Black shoes were worn throughout.

3 responses to “Freshers: How to Choose a Church”

  1. Alan McManus Avatar
    Alan McManus

    You’ve missed out one that I know is important to you: a clear commitment to social justice, local, national and global. Sublime aesthetics are all very well but most Freshers are young people and they want to know what you stand for. Otherwise, saying, in a nutshell, ‘all is well’ rings rather hollow. So a church that doesn’t indulge in party politics but does for instance condemn the malevolent stupidity of attempting, again, to fight an anti-Western ideology with indiscriminate Western bombing would let Freshers know that this church at least is smart enough to read the signs of the times and apply relevant Gospel values. Rather than just be vaguely lovely when our government is getting away with murder.

    Reply
    1. Fr Steve Avatar
      Fr Steve

      These are wise comments Alan. Several decades ago when i was a fresher…the anti-Vietnam protests in Australia were in full flight.
      I don’t think the church took a high enough profile, but many of us participated.
      Then there were the anti-apartheid demonstrations, when South African Rugby visited…these too were important.
      A wise Archbishop of Adelaide (later Australian Primate) Keith Rayner reminded us that one of the roles of young Christians is to pursue causes, be enthusiastic, and to challenge the church.

      Reply
  2. Fr Steve Avatar
    Fr Steve

    Having been a University Chaplain (University of Adelaide, South Australia), and now a priest in an inner city church of a University town (Adelaide, South Australia http://stmarymags125.blogspot.com.au/) I perceive much wisdom in your comments here
    I also want to add another dimension, which is true both of our church (St Mary Magdalene’s Adelaide, & of the Cathedral Church of St Peter, Adelaide):
    that social outreach is important.
    A very Anglo Catholic principle.
    Two decades or more ago a group of ‘earnest’ (quite the wrong word to describe the lovely kids who were uni students in the 80s) but genuine Christians ….sat around for weeks wondering about how they should put their faith into practice. Finally they just decided they needed to DO something. That something was putting on a slap-up meal on Saturday nights. That has continued for nearly thirty years. Diocesan parishes and schools volunteer every week.
    Really looking forward to my first Christmas here, when the parish will outdo itself with a proper Christmas dinner for those who we are called to love.
    I am impressed by the quality of University and young professional volunteers who staff this wonderful ministry.

    It strikes me that most freshers get this as authentic Gospel…and so do I

    Reply

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