What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Liturgical news

    Here is the liturgical news from St Mary’s Cathedral, Glasgow yesterday.

    • The Provost announced during morning service that the church is responsible for far too much condemnation in the world and far too few blessings. He and the Vice Provost then went on to offer the ancient Blessing of the Throats traditionally performed by holding candles to the throats of the faithful on St Blaise’s Day. About 45 members of the congregation had their throats blessed.
    • There have been no outbreaks of any diseases of the throat since yesterday.
    • The Provost turned into a flailing jellyfish at two points during yesterday’s mass. The first was the result of him seeing the gospel procession going past him and on down the aisle before he had woken up to the fact that he was the deacon and due to read the gospel. The second was when he tried to retrieve and consume a fallen host during communion. This resulted in a manoeuvre that is known as being Slain in the Spirit amongst low church people and known as falling Amice over Tippet by high church people.
    • The Provost was dismayed at the end of the mass to have it pointed out to him that the mass may not have been valid as he was wearing his stole in the manner of a priest rather than in the manner of a deacon.
    • The Provost then used the fact that his stole was the wrong way round to justify the fact that he had forgotten to follow the gospel procession earlier in the service.
    • Black shoes were worn throughout.

4 responses to “Slow Eucharist – Teaching Mass – Lord’s Supper with FAQ”

  1. Helen Avatar
    Helen

    I think this is a great idea. I’d love to be there but can’t. Will you publish answers to some of these answers on the blog? That would be great.

    Reply
    1. Kelvin Avatar
      Kelvin

      I think it is probably an evening which won’t translate to the web that well, but I may well base future blog posts on the questions. And I’m always open to suggestions of what to blog about.

      Reply
  2. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    Um – kids understand it? which of us does? Really really understand the depth and mystery of it all, I mean? Not me, that is for sure. As one who regularly takes communion with littlies, I think they grasp something – and which of us can really say more.

    Reply
  3. Elizabeth Avatar
    Elizabeth

    I’m sorry to have missed this though I think Owen’s still a bit young for it (i.e. it’s hard enough to keep him going through a short Eucharist, much less a slow one – plus, you know, bedtime and all that) but I hope you’ll do it again sometime!

    Reply

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