• Baptising

  17/06/2013

  There are few more joyful things to do in this world than a baptism service. Yesterday I got to baptise someone called Theodore, which of course means Gift of God. He rather enjoyed proceedings and I’ve seldom held a child more keen to jump right into the font.

  People sometimes comment on how much babies seem to enjoy being baptised at St Mary’s. Some older folk sometimes say, “I thought they were supposed to cry….” to which I reply, “…and I think it is nicer if they don’t”.

  Sometimes people even come out with that old medieval nonsense that the cry of a baby at a baptism is the devil coming out. Here’s your theology starter for 10: the devil ain’t in there in the first place.

  If you want to make a baby cry at a baptism, here are the instructions:

  • hold them upside down
  • hold them so they can’t see anyone they know
  • use cold water
  • flick the water in their face with a large, hard shell
  • hold them as though you are frightened you are going to drop them.

  Otherwise,

  • hold them so they can see what’s going on – sitting on the side of the font is a good start
  • surround them with a sea of happy smiling faces
  • warm up the water
  • talk to them and mean what you say
  • keep parents in sight and free from anxiety themselves
  • lots of splashes

  baptism, how to baptise

Previous Posts

• Ethics

  15/02/2006

  I’m going to spend some time tomorrow with some of the people moving into ministry in the Scottish Episcopal Church. They have a Ministry Reflections Course once a month or so.Tomorrow evening is called "Being a critical reflector".It has got me thinking about ethics again. Sometimes the internal differences that get exposed in the church…

• Gendered Curling

  13/02/2006

  Does anyone know why curling competitions are divided into men’s and women’s games?Perhaps there is an obvious answer, but I cannot work it out.Possible answers that I’ve considered so far include the following:Men might generally be able to throw the stones with more force.Perhaps men and women use different sized stones.One sex has the advantage…

• Sermon – 12 February 2006

  12/02/2006

  When I was at school across in the west of Scotland, I remember doing a project on Glasgow, the nearest big city. We were told that the city had become prosperous through trading. Goods were imported and sold on at great profit. Cotton. Sugar. Particularly tobacco. I remember hearing all about the plantations and the…

• Oor Willie

  10/02/2006

  I have to confess that I doubted. As I trudged around Inverkeithing on Wednesday afternoon in the few spare hours I’ve had this week delivering campaign material, I did doubt that the Liberal Democrats would win the by-election in Dunfermline West. However, sometimes it is wonderful to be gloriously wrong.Many congratulations to Willie Rennie. (And…