What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • The Cure

    Over the past few weeks, I’ve not been terribly well. Bronchitis was the doctor’s diagnosis and it has gone on and on.

    I thought it might be helpful to share the advice that I’ve been given in order to get better. After all, it could happen to you.

    • paracetamol
    • lemsip
    • going to the doctor
    • cough medicine
    • reflexology
    • vicks vapour rub
    • steroid inhaler
    • steaming
    • aromatherapy
    • eating oranges
    • look after yourself
    • steam room at the Arlington baths
    • don’t use the steam room at the Arlington baths
    • go out in the fresh air
    • stay in
    • decongestant
    • garlic
    • orange juice
    • vitamin C tablets
    • multivitamins
    • menthol crystals
    • staying under the duvet
    • making sure you don’t get too hot
    • opening the windows
    • going to Millport for three months
    • make sure you’re getting proper food
    • look after yourself
    • watch the television
    • don’t just watch the television
    • lots of vegetables
    • the triduum
    • incense
    • tea-tree oil
    • fasting
    • antibiotics
    • more antibiotics
    • sleep
    • rest
    • jakeman’s throat sweets
    • fisherman’s friends
    • hot tea
    • honey in your tea
    • manuka honey
    • lots of hot drinks
    • let it take its course
    • steamy showers
    • a bit of sun
    • go to the doctor again
    • you must go to the doctor again
    • stay off work
    • just take another week being kind to yourself
    • hot toddies
    • whisky
    • chocolate

    I presume, as I am still sneezing and coughing that I’ve missed something. No doubt someone will helpfully give me some further advice.

     

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4 responses to “Alternative Queen’s Speech”

  1. Pluralist Avatar
    Pluralist

    They are only in office for a year. Then the Lib Dems will collapse, the Conservatives lose out to UKIP, Labour will also lose out to UKIP, but should, I hope, win if only to produce a luke-warm left government that will continue to bully those on benefits.

    Reply
  2. Revruth Avatar
    Revruth

    Jolly good. May we also have fairtrade bananas sold loose instead of bags of 6 or 8, please?

    Reply
  3. Elizabeth Avatar
    Elizabeth

    Hear, hear!!

    Ruth – you can find such loose and fair bananas in many fine emporia in this fair city of Glasgow. Do come visit soon!

    Reply
  4. Alan McManus Avatar
    Alan McManus

    Kelvin, on the point of privacy, after being forced to opt-out (probably too late) from having my address (and perhaps email and telephone information) sold to anyone by Glasgow City Council, I’ve just sent the email below to Hugh Munro the Chartered Accountant who is Electoral Registration Officer for GCC. It strikes me that roll-calling in the Bible is usually A Bad Thing and in this case it quite obviously is. As Rosemary H. pointed out (in the middle of a rather heated debate on the Referendum – where she was very restrained and others including me were not) the problem with devolving power to Local Authorities is that they have to be both competent and ethical (my paraphrase, I can’t re-find her exact words).

    On Monday, 3 November 2014, 12:53, Alan McManus:

    Dear Mr Munro,

    I have just opted out of the Open Electoral Register by email, something which I should not have had to do. You, or whoever has executed this scheme, had no authority to sell my contact information and in doing so you, or they, have abused my trust. I expect a signed apology in writing and that this scheme be terminated with immediate effect.You are well aware that you are preying on the trust of the elderly who have no access to the internet and who will be too confused by this betrayal of confidence by their Local Authority to take action by telephone. You have sold the rights of privacy of the citizens of Glasgow for material gain. This is despicable and does nothing to ameliorate the legacy of the low reputation of the leadership of GCC.

    regards, Dr Alan McManus

    Reply

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