What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Tales of the City – February 2020

    On the way home from the opera I step into a shop to get out of the rain, and buy something to eat against the cold – a late-night post-operatic chittery-bite.

    In front of me are two young men dressed in much less than I am. They are the worse for wear and arguing.

    Drunk Young Man #1: Well we’ll ask someone else then.

    Drunk Young Man #2:     Yes! Someone neutral.

    They turn to me.

    DYM#1: Here man. Settle an arugment for us will you. Is coronavirus real or is it propoganda

    Self: I think it is real.

    DYM#2: Aye man. Told you. It *is* real. He said so. Here, I bet you do a very responsible job

    DYM#1:     Aye very responsible. What are you man?

    I hesitate a moment and consider how to answer.

    DYM#2: I bet he’s a Supply Chain Manager. Are you a Supply Chain Manager, man?

    I smile a smile that I hope will look like the smile of a cold wet Supply Chain Manager.

    DYM#2: I knew it.

    DYM#1: Hey, do you have a lighter?

    I shake my head.

    We are all forlorn that I do not have a lighter.

4 responses to “St Augustine”

  1. Richard Avatar
    Richard

    I like the painting very much, but, forgive me for my ignorance , what is this “explains much” of which you speak? Ohh, and the literal minded in me says – even as a baby – as the child of Monica of Hippo – he was still Augustine of Hippo.

    Reply
    1. Kelvin Avatar
      Kelvin

      Surely at this point he was Augustine of Tagaste if he was of anywhere.

      Reply
  2. Alan McManus Avatar
    Alan McManus

    So beehive hairdos are that old? The things you learn from art. If that Tardis that sells coffee outside the Botanic Gardens actually worked, I would go back and kidnap that straitjacketed infant, materialise at Woodstock and hand him over to the nearest couple of flowerchildren. Just imagine a Church with no Jansenists and their ilk! Okay we’d have to do without Pascal but just think what Glasgow would be like without You-Know-Who glowering over it. From Clyde Street.

    Reply
  3. Alan McManus Avatar
    Alan McManus

    I’ve just lost ‘What Theologian Are You?’ which I’d reached through a suggestion above, however I did the quiz and though I often thought ‘yes, but I wouldn’t put it that way’ and came up with a tie between Charles Finney (of whom I’m entirely ignorant) and AUGUSTINE! With Calvin a close third. I’m doomed. It’s predestined.

    Reply

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