What is in Kelvin's Head?

How to sleep on the sleeper

31/07/2012
Did I mention that I came back from London on the sleeper? It remains my favourite way of travelling back from south to north as you can catch it after a night at the theatre. (In this case Democracy at the Old Vic). Generally I prefer to fly down and sleeper back.

Here are my Caledonian Sleeper tips….
- Don’t believe the time that they advertise as when the sleeper will be ready for boarding. It is often later than that.
- Leaving a big city at midnight by train is inherently romantic.
- Being in Euston at 11.30 pm is inherently unromantic.
- For excitement, intrigue, value for money and frisson book a bargain berth and share with Who Knows Who.
- If sharing with an unknown companion who has not arrived when the train leaves, don’t presume anything. He could show up anytime, anywhere.
- For a better night’s sleep pay more and get a cabin to yourself.
- For no sleep at all, use the reclining seats. You will however, learn much about humanity.
- Don’t worry about sleeping – tell yourself that all you have to do is doze and you’ll probably fall asleep anyway.
- The more you pay, the better the breakfast in bed.
- Murmur in the steward’s ear as you get on that you’d prefer your breakfast to be served after everyone else if possible
- Beware of muddling the buttons that open the toilet compartment with the adjacent buttons which open the disabled cabin next door. (Especially at 4 am).
- Flipflops.
- Travelling North to South on certain tickets give you access to a lounge at Euston with free showers. No such luck coming the other way.
- If turfed off the sleeper at 7 am and going to work at 9 am, don’t go home and go to sleep. Go swimming instead.
- You can charge phones in the lounge car but not in your cabin.
- That little hook by your head is for putting your watch on, but don’t forget it in the morning.
- Take extra water.
- The first stop is Carlisle. The stop with all the shunting is Carstairs.
- Don’t go for a wander before Carstairs or your cabin might go to Glasgow whilst you go to Edinburgh.
- You might arrive going a different direction to the one you set off in. Don’t be confused, they’ve not turned you round and sent you back to London after all.
Any tips I missed?
Caledonian Sleeper, tips

11 responses to “Predictions for 2014”

Rosemary Hannah

01/01/2014

I am struggling with nine – I mean, Lord Carey, being unhelpful, oh no, beyond imagination …. 😉

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Kate

01/01/2014

In what way is 9. a ‘prediction’. Next it’ll be ‘mystic sage thurible predicts continued arising of the sun’. Also tricky to imagine that there’s much more dirty washing in O’Brien’s washing basket unless he also has a wife and three children. 6, interesting. 7, I am merely a passing English person who has to read Scottish government press releases for work, but on this basis I can’t for the life of me think why you wouldn’t want to separate yourselves from England – just about everything is better – whether it’s some interest and care for soil fertility and the land, an enlightened approach to the arts or a First Minister actually prepared to turn up at a Food Bank. If it wasn’t a bit chilly up there, Id be taking Gaelic lessons now.

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Kelvin

01/01/2014

9 – might just have had a touch of sarcasm about it.
4 – there *is* more dirty linen to be washed
6 – surprised other people haven’t seen how clever Pilling was
7 – I don’t think so. We neither speak Gaelic here nor want separation. It might be suggested that reading SNP press releases might not actually be the most balanced way to grasp what is happening in Scotland. #bettertogether

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1. Kate
  
  01/01/2014
  
  4 – crumbs, and probably ‘oh dear’
  6 – When the Faith and Order commission’s last gutless report on marriage came out, we still weren’t short of people (Giles Fraser among others) who thought there was all a secret coded message in their somewhere that was altogether more positive. Pilling seems to me like another not-very-brave dog’s breakfast where you can see pretty much anything you like, if you squint. That doesn’t mean to say that nothing positive will come of it, in the sense that whatever he’d written, the C of E is going to be overtaken by events – and the sheer statistics of the whole of their youth turning against them. And the Evangelicals are quietly fracturing down exactly the same generational fault line too. But I’m not seeing the artful contrivance in Pilling that you clearly are….
  7. Here, my tongue was a bit in my cheek too. But I do read UK government press releases too, and honestly, if I was immigrating, I’d totally head for Scotland.
  
  Reply
  1. Kelvin Holdsworth
    
    01/01/2014
    
    7 – I think that Scotland is the best part of the UK to be in.
    
    Reply
  2. Beth Routledge
    
    01/01/2014
    
    7. I too think that Scotland is the best part of the UK to be in, and I am pleased that various things are devolved. No need to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
    
    Reply
robert

01/01/2014

It seems (to me!) that Carey is now filling the same place that David Jenkins took when Carey was ABC and is sought out by journalists at Christmas/Easter wanting something to write about.

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1. Kelvin
  
  01/01/2014
  
  Well, if they just ring me, I’ll be happen to take the burden out of his hands…
  
  Reply
Zebadee

01/01/2014

[7] Yes Yes Yes– in my all too humble opinion Scotland is the best part of the UK live in. This opinion has not changed over many many years.

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Chris

02/01/2014

7. I want to throw the baby out, but having once sung in a Gaelic choir (phonetic renderings of words) have no desire – nay, no need, even in Argyll – to learn Gaelic. Just saying.

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Craig Nelson

11/01/2014

I agree Pilling is not meant for us but it is a mechanism that allows for the smallest change possible. If that change doesn’t happen, none will, if it does then eventually the change will perforce continue. It’s a kind of fulcrum around which change will/can happen.

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