• Freshers: How to Choose a Church

    Every year at this time I find myself thinking about freshers coming to Glasgow to one of the higher education institutions. One way or another I was involved in freshers’ week quite a lot over the years. I did three degrees so went through it myself three times, then in subsequent university years I was one of those helping to put on events and then I worked in university chaplaincy work twice, once before I was ordained and then again whilst I was in Bridge of Allan.

    Some students are looking for a church to join when they arrive at University. Some will have checked ahead of time what they want and will have already made contact. Others may find themselves thinking about attending a church for the first time. University years are partly for working out what you think about stuff and working out what you think about the claims that religious bodies make is something that is well worthwhile doing.

    Here’s a quick checklist of things that I think Freshers might think about when thinking about how to pick a church.

    1. Is there life there? You can usually see that from the website (if it isn’t updated, don’t bother) and you can certainly tell very quickly by turning up.
    2. Do you want to be in a church with lots of people your own age or one in which there is a better balance of ages?
    3. Do you bring gifts to offer and will they be welcome. (Do you want to sing, work with children, work for the homeless etc) and can the church put you in touch quickly with those you need to speak to.
    4. Will all your friends feel welcome at this church if you invite them? Does it celebrate the ministry of both men and women? Are gay folk fully integrated into the life of the church? No-one wants to have brought their gay friends to church and then end up feeling embarrassed because of what was said or done when they turned up.  Ask careful questions here – I know a few churches which would say that they were for everyone but which gay people can attend but can’t ever do anything like lead a bible study or alpha group.
    5. Does those in leadership in the congregation appear to enjoy being there?
    6. Does the congregation appear to enjoy being there?
    7. Are there opportunities for you to learn if that’s what you go looking for?
    8. Are there opportunities for you to develop your own spirituality and go deeper with your own faith journey?
    9. If you call them up and ask for a student contact, can they give you the name of someone who will look out for you if you turn up?
    10. Do you get a sense that the preaching is worth listening to?
    11. Are they keen to have you turn up (good), disinterested in your turning up (not so good) or desperate for you to turn up (probably not very good at all).

9 responses to “The Marriage Business”

  1. Rhea Avatar
    Rhea

    I thought that what the government actually said was more of a “obviously with the current canon laws in place, the C of E and the Church in Wales won’t be able to opt in to marriage equality because their canon laws clearly state that marriage is between one man and one woman.”

    To me the ultimate issue is with the churches and their canon laws that need to be changed, no?

    1. Rhea Avatar
      Rhea

      I just saw this: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-20680924

      What in the world is the government thinking?!

      1. kelvin Avatar

        Here’s the original announcement – quite clear that it isn’t just about Canon Law. They really are trying to make it illegal for the C of E and Church in Wales to opt in.

        http://www.culture.gov.uk/news/media_releases/9585.aspx

      2. Beth Avatar

        The irony that that Department of Culture page is titled “Marriage For Everyone” absolutely knocks me down.

        I think that this more than anything else that has happened in equal marriage legislation this year has a real chance of being ruled illegal under Article 9 of the Human Rights Convention.

  2. Peter Higson Avatar
    Peter Higson

    Church of England clergy, and Church in Wales clergy, may take note of Giles Fraser’s suggestion: “So it will now be illegal for me to marry two people who live (with) each other. Now there is a cause worth going to prison for.” as report in the Independent.

    1. kelvin Avatar

      Yes – I saw that tweet from Giles. Whilst supporting the sentiment, I suspect that he is going to have to work quite hard to find a judge willing to send him to prison for it.

  3. Martin Reynolds Avatar
    Martin Reynolds

    Yes, bizarre is the right word!

    When the Church in Wales was disestablished back in 1920 it retained its priveledges and responsibilities with regard to marriage.

    So, parishioners’ absolute legal right to be married in the parish church remains, as does the automatic right of Church in Wales clergy to be able to conduct marriages by virtue of their ordination alone.

    We recently amended our requirements for residence to stay in line with the CofE, while they were able to do it through General Synod we had to resort to a Private Bill.

    It now seems there are to be no EXTRA hurdles required by these two Churches, other than the separate Acts of Parliament they would need to change their current practice following agreement of General Synod or Governing Body.

  4. Ali Avatar
    Ali

    “if your denomination cannot or will not opt in then the time has come for you to stand up for what’s right. If you support equality, do something about it and show us what you are made of.” you not doing any more weddings until the SEC opts in then. Kelvin?

    1. kelvin Avatar

      I think it quite likely that should the Scottish Episcopal Church chose not to opt into the coming legislation then I would come to be view that the time had come to stop signing marriage papers. That is not the same thing, of course, as stopping doing weddings.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Previous Posts

  • Sermon – Creation

    Oops, I forgot entirely to set the video camera up this morning, so there is no recording of this sermon, I’m afraid. I did not realise until well into the service that the camera was not there. It is perhaps time to think about gathering a team of people who could be resonsible for dealing…

  • Gay Marriage in Church in Sweden

    The Church of Sweden, with which the Scottish Episcopal Church is in Full Communion, has just voted to open marriage to same-sex couples as well as straight couples. The word equivalent to “matrimony” will be used for all couples. Something to welcome. Something to celebrate.

  • Clocks Change

    Don’t forget that the clocks change this weekend. On Sunday morning at 2 am, clocks go back 1 hour to 1 am. You have an extra hour to plan turning up late to St Mary’s tomorrow.

  • Who chooses the hymns?

    I’m occasionally asked who chooses the hymns at St Mary’s. We have an extraordinarily wide repertoire. I can’t remember now how many sets of hymn lyrics we use, but I know that we have over five hundred tunes in regular use through the year. I think that the choice of hymns is one of the…