• How to sleep on the sleeper

    Did I mention that I came back from London on the sleeper? It remains my favourite way of travelling back from south to north as you can catch it after a night at the theatre. (In this case Democracy at the Old Vic). Generally I prefer to fly down and sleeper back.

    Here are my Caledonian Sleeper tips….

    • Don’t believe the time that they advertise as when the sleeper will be ready for boarding. It is often later than that.
    • Leaving a big city at midnight by train is inherently romantic.
    • Being in Euston at 11.30 pm is inherently unromantic.
    • For excitement, intrigue, value for money and frisson book a bargain berth and share with Who Knows Who.
    • If sharing with an unknown companion who has not arrived when the train leaves, don’t presume anything. He could show up anytime, anywhere.
    • For a better night’s sleep pay more and get a cabin to yourself.
    • For no sleep at all, use the reclining seats. You will however, learn much about humanity.
    • Don’t worry about sleeping – tell yourself that all you have to do is doze and you’ll probably fall asleep anyway.
    • The more you pay, the better the breakfast in bed.
    • Murmur in the steward’s ear as you get on that you’d prefer your breakfast to be served after everyone else if possible
    • Beware of muddling the buttons that open the toilet compartment with the adjacent buttons which open the disabled cabin next door. (Especially at 4 am).
    • Flipflops.
    • Travelling North to South on certain tickets give you access to a lounge at Euston with free showers. No such luck coming the other way.
    • If turfed off the sleeper at 7 am and going to work at 9 am, don’t go home and go to sleep. Go swimming instead.
    • You can charge phones in the lounge car but not in your cabin.
    • That little hook by your head is for putting your watch on, but don’t forget it in the morning.
    • Take extra water.
    • The first stop is Carlisle. The stop with all the shunting is Carstairs.
    • Don’t go for a wander before Carstairs or your cabin might go to Glasgow whilst you go to Edinburgh.
    • You might arrive going a different direction to the one you set off in. Don’t be confused, they’ve not turned you round and sent you back to London after all.

    Any tips I missed?


66 responses to “Sermon Preached on 9 October 2011”

  1. kelvin Avatar

    Now, I think we are in danger of moving away from commenting on the sermon that was posted above.

    Further comments that are focused on that sermon are welcome. I think that I will exercise my perogative and choose not to host any further debates on this thread unless they pertain directly to the orginal post.

    Several comments from those of differing opinions have been gently hushed.

  2. Alan McManus Avatar

    I remember hearing you preach this sermon, Kelvin, and being surprised at your take on it. Mine, I now realise (thanks for the research, Rosemary), came from Augustine (via my RC school chaplain, now happily married, whose constant theme was the love of God for us). It’s difficult to revise views learned while young as the evidence we accepted as children is not always acceptable to our adult minds – if we chose to review it. So I sympathise both with my coreligionist and with our Cromwellian interlocutor, despite their abrasive tone and the fun we can have with bowels and prostrates: they appear both to speak the truth as they see it. But so does everyone else commenting – and some (like Jaye) read the Hebrew scriptures in the original. I like the interpretation put forward by Kenny and Agatha and just because it was a convenient one for Augustine doesn’t mean it has to lack truth. So I turned to the Greek for backup and the first word that struck me was Ἀρίστων (ariston) which has connotations of excellence and survives in ‘aristocrat’. This king calls his ‘banquet’ (Jerusalem Bible) literally ‘my excellence’ – and he’s obviously gone all out. So none of the big wigs turn up and he goes all inclusive and gets the good and the bad in. Then throws a hissy fit about the dress code. He sounds A LOT like me when I’m directing. Then I noticed there’s a lot of play on IN and OUT (even ‘crossroads’ is διεξόδους – diexodous – way out ways?) and the final words are a pun on κλητοί (kletoi – named/ invited) and ἐκλεκτοί (eklektoi – called/ chosen).
    Now I suspect that shackling a quest hand and foot and shoving him out the door into outer darkness (the Greek word for darkness is the Classical root of ‘Scotland’!) may have put a rather gloomy outlook on the evening’s festivities. Could that be the point? It’s sandwiched between the parable of the wicked husbandmen that has the son of vineyard owner exit sharply and the trap Jesus escapes about taxes.
    With all this about ‘who’s in who’s out?’ and ‘which side of the coin are you on?’ can we take this passage with a pinch of Paul (and Augustine, and Cromwell) and say ‘our righteousness is as filthy rags before the Lord’? So the point is not how we are named/ that we are invited but that the church (ekklesia) we are chosen and called to be is not one of domineering control freaks throwing hissy fits because the excellence of their table arrangements has been spoilt by someone not following rubrics. Or by (ditto) because their nice ideas about biology (JS, once you mention ‘purpose’, no biologist will take you seriously) have been spoilt by people in love. St Mary’s is a great liturgical feast indeed. Everyone goes all out for excellence. Yet I’ve seen the oddest-dressed people doing the oddest things (me late, again, in my glad rags included) welcomed. The RC Church in Scotland, of whose hierarchy I am deeply deeply ashamed, would do well to stop whitewashing sepulchers and start calling the clergy and laity in their charge to inclusive love.

    1. Alan McManus Avatar

      That should be άριστον, guest, εκλεκτοί. Transliteration is correct, it was the cut and paste that was slapdash. Fortunately my phone does Greek (no pun intended) but it doesn’t do breathings.

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