The scene is Pollokshaws Road. (That’s the South Side). After midnight.

Me: Oh, please no. Please don’t throw that in there.

The refuse collector throws the clerical collar into the refuse truck and turns.

Refuse Collector #1: What pal?

Me: Oh, that’s mine, it dropped out of my pocket and you picked it up with the other rubbish and threw it in.

Refuse Collector #1: What is it, anyway?

Me: Oh, its a clerical collar. Er…I’m a priest.

I do a brief but elegent mime, the better to explain what a clerical collar is.

Refuse Collector #1: Oh, don’t worry, I’ll get it. I’ll have to climb into the truck though.

An attempt is made to climb into the truck.

Refuse Collector #2: What is it, what’s he lost?

The first refuse collector mumbles something and repeats the earlier mime.

Refuse Collector #1: Here, I’ll get it with the picker-up.

He produces a device, reaches into the refuse truck, retrieves the collar and hands it back.

Refuse Collector #1: Here it is pal. Oh…..well….you could wash it, I guess.