Tales of the City #5

The scene is Pollokshaws Road. (That’s the South Side). After midnight.

Me: Oh, please no. Please don’t throw that in there.

The refuse collector throws the clerical collar into the refuse truck and turns.

Refuse Collector #1: What pal?

Me: Oh, that’s mine, it dropped out of my pocket and you picked it up with the other rubbish and threw it in.

Refuse Collector #1: What is it, anyway?

Me: Oh, its a clerical collar. Er…I’m a priest.

I do a brief but elegent mime, the better to explain what a clerical collar is.

Refuse Collector #1: Oh, don’t worry, I’ll get it. I’ll have to climb into the truck though.

An attempt is made to climb into the truck.

Refuse Collector #2: What is it, what’s he lost?

The first refuse collector mumbles something and repeats the earlier mime.

Refuse Collector #1: Here, I’ll get it with the picker-up.

He produces a device, reaches into the refuse truck, retrieves the collar and hands it back.

Refuse Collector #1: Here it is pal. Oh…..well….you could wash it, I guess.

Counting them in

This weekend is the time when the Scottish Episcopal Church counts the number of people in its churches. The figures get reported back to HQ and then get included in the annual reports that come out at synod.

This year we are being asked to collect data on gender as we do the counting. The larger the church the tricker that is to do and I have to confess that last year the gender part was guestimated. Tomorrow I’m hoping to do better.

Within our current growth cycle, it obvious that one of the demographics that is quite strong at the moment is men coming to church on their own, particularly younger men. That’s really interesting in itself as men on their own don’t often seek out church and when they do they don’t always find themselves welcome.

Whoever you are, ladies and gentlemen, if you want to meet thoughtful, kind, intelligent, single young men, St Mary’s seems to be the place you should be coming to.

And whoever you are, and whatever you are looking for, we’ll try to make you welcome in church on any Sunday and we will tell you that you are loved and valued. Tomorrow though, we’ll count you, as well.

(Oh, and we’ve got all the excitement of three baptisms tomorrow morning. How did that happen?)