• How to sleep on the sleeper

    Did I mention that I came back from London on the sleeper? It remains my favourite way of travelling back from south to north as you can catch it after a night at the theatre. (In this case Democracy at the Old Vic). Generally I prefer to fly down and sleeper back.

    Here are my Caledonian Sleeper tips….

    • Don’t believe the time that they advertise as when the sleeper will be ready for boarding. It is often later than that.
    • Leaving a big city at midnight by train is inherently romantic.
    • Being in Euston at 11.30 pm is inherently unromantic.
    • For excitement, intrigue, value for money and frisson book a bargain berth and share with Who Knows Who.
    • If sharing with an unknown companion who has not arrived when the train leaves, don’t presume anything. He could show up anytime, anywhere.
    • For a better night’s sleep pay more and get a cabin to yourself.
    • For no sleep at all, use the reclining seats. You will however, learn much about humanity.
    • Don’t worry about sleeping – tell yourself that all you have to do is doze and you’ll probably fall asleep anyway.
    • The more you pay, the better the breakfast in bed.
    • Murmur in the steward’s ear as you get on that you’d prefer your breakfast to be served after everyone else if possible
    • Beware of muddling the buttons that open the toilet compartment with the adjacent buttons which open the disabled cabin next door. (Especially at 4 am).
    • Flipflops.
    • Travelling North to South on certain tickets give you access to a lounge at Euston with free showers. No such luck coming the other way.
    • If turfed off the sleeper at 7 am and going to work at 9 am, don’t go home and go to sleep. Go swimming instead.
    • You can charge phones in the lounge car but not in your cabin.
    • That little hook by your head is for putting your watch on, but don’t forget it in the morning.
    • Take extra water.
    • The first stop is Carlisle. The stop with all the shunting is Carstairs.
    • Don’t go for a wander before Carstairs or your cabin might go to Glasgow whilst you go to Edinburgh.
    • You might arrive going a different direction to the one you set off in. Don’t be confused, they’ve not turned you round and sent you back to London after all.

    Any tips I missed?


6 responses to “On the election tomorrow”

  1. Tim Avatar

    Ooh, Compass looks fun.

    For amusement, it says I’m: Green; LD; SNP; Labour; Tory.

    It’s got one of those right but I’d probably rejig the others a bit ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. Neil Oliver Avatar
    Neil Oliver

    I got a very similar result to Tim and to be honest it reflects my vote quite closely.

  3. Tim Avatar

    The Compass attributes equal weight to all its questions, hence getting completely the wrong answer for me.
    There is precisely no chance I would ever vote Green while they persist in being in favour of “alternative medicine” and so unthinkingly anti-motorist with no positive transport suggestions to make.

    The only one it got sorta right is to put Tory last – and even that’s neglecting the fact that, if I were the penultimate humanoid on the planet and blue the only box to mark, I’d rather spoil the paper than vote for them. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. chris Avatar

    Thanks for link – got me just about right, which is good as I voted a fortnight ago!

  5. ryan Avatar
    ryan

    Lib Dems have an Orange Book?! That might of interest to stereotypical fans of the Glorious Glasgow Rangers who can’t support the SNP (non Unionist), Labour (obvious reasons), Tories (too posh) and find themselves unsure of who to vote for with only hours left to decide ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. Gianmaria Framarin Avatar
    Gianmaria Framarin

    Please, lad, quit this continuous and totally wrong identification of Rangers fans as being anti-Labour or even right-winged… you’re talking about that hell of a minority we have at Ibrox who still go on chanting stupid stuff…
    Ibrox is FULL of leftists, Labour Party voters, even SNP, which seems to be the common trend. I hardly ever spoken to a Tory Rangers fan…
    Glasgow’s a red city, always has been for decades, Rangers are a majority in the city, how come they all be “stereotypical tories”???

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