• Jesus – the Angry Religious Man

    Here’s what I said in the pulpit yesterday for Lent 3

    Sermon preached by Kelvin Holdsworth on 8 March 2015 from St Mary's Cathedral, Glasgow on Vimeo.

    The door opened. That door at the back, with its annoying squeak. And I looked up and immediately I was afraid.

    I saw someone come in and knew that I needed to do something and do it quickly.

    I checked the clock and took off my headphones.

    Either I needed to shout at everyone to evacuate the building or I had to try to do something myself.

    I looked around and decided to walk forward and try to distract him and see what happened.

    We were about to do a Radio Broadcast. A live radio broadcast and the clock was, well, not ticking because things like that need to be silent when we are recording, but the clock was moving inexorably towards 8.10 and the moment when the red light would go on and I would say, “Good morning and welcome to St Mary’s Cathedral in the City of Glasgow, a city that is still in shock.”

    It was the day after the terrorist attack at Glasgow airport. Transport systems were in a mess. The airport was completely locked down and roads were closed all over the place. People couldn’t fly into Scotland. There was transport chaos and the police still didn’t know how many other people were at large who intended harm.

    And that door right there opened right before an advertised liver broadcast and someone unexpected came in. Someone whom I didn’t know.

    And in that instant I saw a stereotype walk into the cathedral. He was young and rather swarthy looking. I later discovered that he was indeed just back from Libya and he looked like it.

    A thin white scarf around him. Khaki camouflage clothes. And a backpack.

    It was the backpack that worried me most as I walked towards him.

    Hello I said, welcome to St Mary’s.

    These are the words that I use when I think someone is about to blow me and the cathedral up.

    Hello, welcome to St Mary’s.

    Hello, he said.

    There was a pause as I looked him up and down and he did the same to me.

    Do you mind telling me, I asked – do you mind telling me what’s in the backpack. (more…)

9 responses to “Cartwheels in the nave”

  1. Beth Avatar

    Why did none of us do this after the consecration? 🙂

  2. kelvin Avatar

    Are you claiming that none of us did?

  3. Beth Avatar

    I wouldn’t presume to claim that something hadn’t happened at St Mary’s — there are few places where the phrase ‘never say never’ has been more appropriate. If such a thing did happen, I’m sorry to have not seen it with my own eyes and impressed that anyone had the energy left.

  4. Vicky Avatar

    Charming! I hope he doesn’t get into trouble for it!

  5. Zebadee Avatar
    Zebadee

    We expect nothing less from the Cathedral. A new by-law should make this clear that acrobatics take place each Sunday led by the Provost

  6. Hilary Avatar
    Hilary

    How athletic. Who can do this now I ask in their more mature years?

  7. kelvin Avatar

    I can simply report that some of the servers at St Mary’s are very athletic and are known to visit local gymnasia, the better to improve their skills for serving.

  8. PamB Avatar
    PamB

    Is this the Verging version of 360s?

    1. kelvin Avatar

      It is, thought hte real trick is to do it with a smoking thurible in your hand.

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