• Missional – Your Time Has Come

    Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

    I hereby announce an international competition to rid the ears of the godly of a peculiar modern ugliness. Everywhere I go (and I’ve recently been engaged on a quest to go just about everywhere) I’m hearing the word MISSIONAL used in church circles. It seems to me that this is a modern phenomenon and one from which we need to be freed.

    How long, oh Lord, how long? How long will you let your church think it can succeed in bringing your love to the world whilst it mangles English grammar?

    Is it not enough that we have kidnapped the word INTENTIONAL and used it for our own devices and desires. It was clearly a sin for whoever first added those two little letters to have created such a hybrid monster. Greater though was the sin of those who GIFTED it from one Christian community to another.

    No, no, and a thousand times no. Missional will not do.

    Yet the trouble is, what should we use instead? Is there a simple word or very short phrase that is more acceptable to holy earlugs than missional?

    I declare a competition to find something else. Bring out your simplicity. Wash your spotless grammatical linen in public. Wear your loveliest past participles on your sleeve. Offer up your adjectives. Pour a gentle libation of adverbs before the altar of the Lord.

    Please, please. Offer an alternative.

    Suggestions welcome in the comments below.

    A crown of laurel to the winner.

9 responses to “Jane Russell RIP”

  1. fr dougal Avatar
    fr dougal

    She had politics?

  2. Kelvin Holdsworth Avatar

    I believe she described herself as “a teetotal, mean-spirited, right-wing, narrow-minded, conservative Christian bigot.”

    Any more questions, John?

    (Apart from where one might find flesh coloured swimming trunks?)

  3. fr dougal Avatar
    fr dougal

    Well, at least she was honest – and by now she knows she was wrong!

  4. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    Not just the flesh colour but the little dark band on them which is – quite distracting.

  5. kelvin Avatar

    I wondered whether the little dark band was sewn on in order to show, for the avoidance of doubt, that they were in fact wearing something.

  6. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    I think we have to admit the little band does rather more than draw attention to their being to some degree dressed.

  7. kelvin Avatar

    I think its a curious visual paradox. It makes them appear dressed on the one hand and quite undressed on the other.

  8. RevRuth Avatar

    Oh I see!This wasn’t really about Jane Rusell at all…

  9. Kelvin Avatar

    Pay attention, Mother. Pay attention.

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