What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Missional – Your Time Has Come

    Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

    I hereby announce an international competition to rid the ears of the godly of a peculiar modern ugliness. Everywhere I go (and I’ve recently been engaged on a quest to go just about everywhere) I’m hearing the word MISSIONAL used in church circles. It seems to me that this is a modern phenomenon and one from which we need to be freed.

    How long, oh Lord, how long? How long will you let your church think it can succeed in bringing your love to the world whilst it mangles English grammar?

    Is it not enough that we have kidnapped the word INTENTIONAL and used it for our own devices and desires. It was clearly a sin for whoever first added those two little letters to have created such a hybrid monster. Greater though was the sin of those who GIFTED it from one Christian community to another.

    No, no, and a thousand times no. Missional will not do.

    Yet the trouble is, what should we use instead? Is there a simple word or very short phrase that is more acceptable to holy earlugs than missional?

    I declare a competition to find something else. Bring out your simplicity. Wash your spotless grammatical linen in public. Wear your loveliest past participles on your sleeve. Offer up your adjectives. Pour a gentle libation of adverbs before the altar of the Lord.

    Please, please. Offer an alternative.

    Suggestions welcome in the comments below.

    A crown of laurel to the winner.

    , ,

6 responses to “10 10”

  1. PamB Avatar
    PamB

    Ahh, a pulley. I love my pulley – the authentic sound of the Scottish tenement is the screech of a laden pulley being hauled upwards. Connects me with my foremothers just like knitting with fore (sp. deliberate) needles does.
    BTW, did you know that the Norwegian for vacuum cleaner is stoorsooker (sp. conjectural)

    Reply
  2. David | Dah•veed Avatar
    David | Dah•veed

    So the condensing boiler, which I assume is to heat your home, also has instant hot water? Or how does that work?

    We have an old 100 L tank-style water heater, but I have been thinking of getting one of the new Japanese instant tankless heaters. They only work with natural gas or LP.

    Reply
    1. kelvin Avatar
      kelvin

      Yes – boiler uses gas, which is piped into the house, to heat water for radiators and (almost) instant hot water for taps too.

      I don’t know how it works. I’m just grateful.

      The graph above includes both gas and electricity.

      Reply
  3. ryan Avatar
    ryan

    Pulleys? I always assumed, perhaps unrealistically, that there’s some kind of centralised clerical dry cleaners, who take care of vestments, altar cloths,dog collars, liturgically-accurate black socks, etc etc 😉

    Reply
  4. chris Avatar
    chris

    Remember to remove the clean clothes before you cook anything smelly! What about a wee rope outside? Hang the washing out?

    Reply
  5. Zebadee Avatar
    Zebadee

    Your grandmothers and great grandmothers had a pulley. Why has it taken you so long to realise the benifits? It will also help you with the keep fit programme

    Reply

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