What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Missional – Your Time Has Come

    Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

    I hereby announce an international competition to rid the ears of the godly of a peculiar modern ugliness. Everywhere I go (and I’ve recently been engaged on a quest to go just about everywhere) I’m hearing the word MISSIONAL used in church circles. It seems to me that this is a modern phenomenon and one from which we need to be freed.

    How long, oh Lord, how long? How long will you let your church think it can succeed in bringing your love to the world whilst it mangles English grammar?

    Is it not enough that we have kidnapped the word INTENTIONAL and used it for our own devices and desires. It was clearly a sin for whoever first added those two little letters to have created such a hybrid monster. Greater though was the sin of those who GIFTED it from one Christian community to another.

    No, no, and a thousand times no. Missional will not do.

    Yet the trouble is, what should we use instead? Is there a simple word or very short phrase that is more acceptable to holy earlugs than missional?

    I declare a competition to find something else. Bring out your simplicity. Wash your spotless grammatical linen in public. Wear your loveliest past participles on your sleeve. Offer up your adjectives. Pour a gentle libation of adverbs before the altar of the Lord.

    Please, please. Offer an alternative.

    Suggestions welcome in the comments below.

    A crown of laurel to the winner.

    , ,

One response to “For the Bible Tells Me So”

  1. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    Personally, I’ve never had a problem with churches – my last church knew my son as a person and if anybody did have reservations they were not going to voice them about one of their own to one of their own – most members of the congregation were totally OK as one would expect.

    What I have occasionally had problems with: the occasional Christian saying something which made me yearn for a pick axe, like ‘but one day we will cure homosexuals’ (over my dead body do you cure my son of being himself. Take this literally for the good of your own health.)
    ‘Most of this congregation are wholly accepting of gay Christians. Of course I can see it is more difficult if it is your own child’. (Only different in so far as it is better, sonny)

    It should not be an issue. Except perhaps outside the church. I clean for a lovely elderly couple. Mrs is eagerly awaiting further news of my outfit for son’s civil union in the summer – she lives in terror of Mr saying something crashingly tactless. I wish I could say something to reassure her that I know Mr is just about as tactful as I am, and he is forgiven beforehand. No offence meant and none taken as ’twere.

    Reply

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