What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Tales of the City #8

    The scene is Glasgow Pride. The protagonists are making their way down Argyll Street in Finnieston. I am dressed in a black suit, clerical collar and small lapel ribbon in all the colours of the rainbow. The group I am with all carry colourful posters proclaiming “The Scottish Episcopal Church Welcomes You”. Mine is mauve. 

    A young man sidles up to walk beside me.

    Young Man: Hi!

    Self: Hello! Where are you from?

    Young Man: Well, Australia, actually. 

    The Young Man pauses.

    Young Man: I just, er, I just wanted to ask you something.

    Self: Oh, OK, ask away.

    Young Man: Well, are you real?

    Self: Oh yes, I’m very real.

    The Young Man gestures with his head towards the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence who, beautifully bedecked in Catherine Laboré style wimples and rainbow habits of various styles are waving a large rainbow flag in front of us.

    Young Man: Yes, but the nuns?

    The Young Man pauses.

    Young Man: They are not real. Right?

    Self: Right.

     

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One response to “For the Bible Tells Me So”

  1. Rosemary Hannah Avatar
    Rosemary Hannah

    Personally, I’ve never had a problem with churches – my last church knew my son as a person and if anybody did have reservations they were not going to voice them about one of their own to one of their own – most members of the congregation were totally OK as one would expect.

    What I have occasionally had problems with: the occasional Christian saying something which made me yearn for a pick axe, like ‘but one day we will cure homosexuals’ (over my dead body do you cure my son of being himself. Take this literally for the good of your own health.)
    ‘Most of this congregation are wholly accepting of gay Christians. Of course I can see it is more difficult if it is your own child’. (Only different in so far as it is better, sonny)

    It should not be an issue. Except perhaps outside the church. I clean for a lovely elderly couple. Mrs is eagerly awaiting further news of my outfit for son’s civil union in the summer – she lives in terror of Mr saying something crashingly tactless. I wish I could say something to reassure her that I know Mr is just about as tactful as I am, and he is forgiven beforehand. No offence meant and none taken as ’twere.

    Reply

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