What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Baptising

    There are few more joyful things to do in this world than a baptism service. Yesterday I got to baptise someone called Theodore, which of course means Gift of God. He rather enjoyed proceedings and I’ve seldom held a child more keen to jump right into the font.

    People sometimes comment on how much babies seem to enjoy being baptised at St Mary’s. Some older folk sometimes say, “I thought they were supposed to cry….” to which I reply, “…and I think it is nicer if they don’t”.

    Sometimes people even come out with that old medieval nonsense that the cry of a baby at a baptism is the devil coming out. Here’s your theology starter for 10: the devil ain’t in there in the first place.

    If you want to make a baby cry at a baptism, here are the instructions:

    • hold them upside down
    • hold them so they can’t see anyone they know
    • use cold water
    • flick the water in their face with a large, hard shell
    • hold them as though you are frightened you are going to drop them.

    Otherwise,

    • hold them so they can see what’s going on – sitting on the side of the font is a good start
    • surround them with a sea of happy smiling faces
    • warm up the water
    • talk to them and mean what you say
    • keep parents in sight and free from anxiety themselves
    • lots of splashes
    ,

2 responses to “Carmen from the wings”

  1. Elizabeth Avatar
    Elizabeth

    A week already? Bother. Saw the notification, meant to listen/watch all week. Haven’t. Sigh. (previous five sentences describe phd-student life generally, I suspect, lack of grammar included).

    Reply
  2. Rev Ruth Avatar
    Rev Ruth

    Imagine if our little flocks could see behind the scenes at church on a Sunday morning. Would they be surprised to see the thurifer on his/her knees blowing frantically on the charcoal, swinging the thurible through 360 degrees to get it going? Would they be surprised to see the MC rummaging through the pile of paper looking for that Collect which has just been asked for? Would they be surprised to see the Altar Servers giggling and larking around before processing out sedately?

    These things are best left unseen too, I suspect.

    Reply

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