What is in Kelvin's Head?

Jesus – the Angry Religious Man

09/03/2015

Here’s what I said in the pulpit yesterday for Lent 3

Sermon preached by Kelvin Holdsworth on 8 March 2015 from St Mary's Cathedral, Glasgow on Vimeo.

The door opened. That door at the back, with its annoying squeak. And I looked up and immediately I was afraid.

I saw someone come in and knew that I needed to do something and do it quickly.

I checked the clock and took off my headphones.

Either I needed to shout at everyone to evacuate the building or I had to try to do something myself.

I looked around and decided to walk forward and try to distract him and see what happened.

We were about to do a Radio Broadcast. A live radio broadcast and the clock was, well, not ticking because things like that need to be silent when we are recording, but the clock was moving inexorably towards 8.10 and the moment when the red light would go on and I would say, “Good morning and welcome to St Mary’s Cathedral in the City of Glasgow, a city that is still in shock.”

It was the day after the terrorist attack at Glasgow airport. Transport systems were in a mess. The airport was completely locked down and roads were closed all over the place. People couldn’t fly into Scotland. There was transport chaos and the police still didn’t know how many other people were at large who intended harm.

And that door right there opened right before an advertised liver broadcast and someone unexpected came in. Someone whom I didn’t know.

And in that instant I saw a stereotype walk into the cathedral. He was young and rather swarthy looking. I later discovered that he was indeed just back from Libya and he looked like it.

A thin white scarf around him. Khaki camouflage clothes. And a backpack.

It was the backpack that worried me most as I walked towards him.

Hello I said, welcome to St Mary’s.

These are the words that I use when I think someone is about to blow me and the cathedral up.

Hello, welcome to St Mary’s.

Hello, he said.

There was a pause as I looked him up and down and he did the same to me.

Do you mind telling me, I asked – do you mind telling me what’s in the backpack. (more…)

cleansing of the temple, Jesus in the temple, Lent 3, Sermon, turning over the tables, Year B

8 responses to “Remedy du jour”

Stewart

04/10/2007

I have had Garlic Mash three times in the past week, and Garlic and Horseradish on a steak last night.

I do not have a cold, so maybe it will work for you – or at least act as a preventative when am next at St Mary’s.

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Fiona

04/10/2007

Kelvin, have you tried mulled wine?

Sachets with the mulling spices in them shouldn’t be too hard to get hold of (try Peckhams). They look like little teabags. Add a dash of orange juice, maybe float a slice on top as well. : )

It might not do much for your cold, but at least it’ll help you sleep, which is what you need right now — rest and fluids.

Also worth trying is a Hot Toddy.

Hope you feel better soon.

~Fiona.

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Roddy

05/10/2007

Garlic’s not a bad idea. I’ve always found if I have a hot, garlic soaked, curry when I’ve got the lurgy I feel better.

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asphodeline

05/10/2007

What you need is a hot curry followed by a hot bath!

This man cold of yours is lingering on a bit or are you “milking” this illness??!!

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Andrew

05/10/2007

What is a man cold? Don’t women get them too?

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kelvin

05/10/2007

It seems to be a widely held view amongst women that men make much of their sufferings when they get a cold.

There is an urban dictionary definition here.

There are some who say that the female equivalent of a mancold is the flu, but I could not possibly comment.

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kelvin

05/10/2007

If Ms Asphodeline is fed up of hearing about my poor state of health, presumably it will be quite a while before we hear anything about her own on livejournal.

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asphodeline

07/10/2007

Haha, you know I’ll probably get the office lurgy now?!

I hope you feel better soon. There’s nothing worse than a man ~~with a~~ cold

x

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